Christmas exchange!

Chris and Dan at my daughter's fourth birthday;) 

I sat down at the computer this morning.  I found this e-mail from my brother-in-law!  This is exactly why I love my family.  It reads...

For those of you that where not at the elder Schiffli house on Sunday, or have a memory of a gnat (I include myself in that group), here are the rules for the exchange.


1. NO GIFT CARDS!

2. Gift must have an approximate value of $30.00 US (Unless the family you drew starts with the letter O, then feel free to spend upwards of that number).

3. They are to be “Family” gifts, so no baby-sitting.

4. No crappy gifts (If a gift is determined to be “crappy”, the receiver of said crappy gift has the right to exchange crappy gift for the gift received by the giver of the crappy gift).

5. The gift has to be creative.

6. The gift may not be wrapped in traditional wrapping or in a traditional gift bag.



• Any addition, deletion or amendment to the gift exchange rules, must be done with a two-thirds majority vote.

• Voting members include adult members the immediate Schiffli family.

• Immediate Schiffli family members include Chuck and Judy Schiffli, their adult children and the children’s significant others.

• “Significant other” is defined as spouse (i.e. Husband or Wife), girlfriend or boyfriend.

• Girlfriend and/or boyfriend shall be confirmed via Facebook status.

• Facebook is a registered trademark of Facebook Inc.

You gotta live by rules and these are them!

Devotion

Do you see this picture?  It is a photo of my husband sleeping after he was up all night with Willow.  It is a picture of devotion.  He let me sleep and took care of her from 2:30am on.  She still hasn't gone back to sleep:(  I am praying for peaceful dreams and some much needed rest this am.  Meanwhile I am doing this challenge.  Hope to see you all there.

Sabbatical

I took a break from blogging because things got a little crazy.  Good crazy.  I also thought I would try Typepad.  Didn't work.  At all.  Too complicated.  So, I'm back and committing to frequent posting.  Looking forward to catching you up with things.   

Inspiration strikes via the Pioneer Woman

I love books.  It is something that I inherited from my mother(besides my hips).  She fostered my love of learning from a young age.  She says she even read to me in the womb.  I believe her.  My friends keep telling me to look into a Kindle. My husband keeps hinting.  My bookshelves are packed to the gills.  I can honestly tell you I will probibly never buy one.  There is something amazing about thumbing through the pages of a book.  I love everything about it: the pages beween my fingers, the photos, even the SMELL of the book.  It is almost spiritual for me.  Yes, I know I'm weird.  Recently, all of the time at home has been taking its's toll.  It sounds so cliche but I started to reevaluate my life.  I ordered a bunch of books to fulfill my book club obligations and thought it would help ease the boredom of being stuck in the house all of the time.  I love my children and wouldn't have it any other way but really?  That being said, I received some new books this week.  Something happened to me that hasn't happened in a long, long time.  I was INSPIRED.  The Pioneer Woman is one of the most popular blogs in the country.  I have visited her blog before, but very infrequently.  I just didn't have anything in common with her.  She lives in Oklahoma and she Homeschools.  That's about as far as the comparison goes.  So it would seem.  Well, I just bought her cookbook.  I really love it.  So what is so inspiring about a rancher's wife and a cookbook?  She lives in the middle of nowhere and talks incessantly about being ISOLATED and the things that she does to cope.  When she chose to raise her family in a rural area she had to come up with new and inventive ways to be creative.  She learned how to cook and took up photography.  She is amazing at it.  Even though Ree Drummond lives on a working Ranch out in the middle of nowhere we really are met with similar circumstances.  I can't depend on the typical woman in South Tulsa's sole source of entertainment: the gym, shopping and gourmet restaurants.  Oh, and don't forget a packed social calendar and team sports for their kids.  If you don't live here, yes, I am being serious. I have a daughter with a disability with severe sensory issues.  I can count the number of times we have been out to eat since her Autism diagnosis on one hand.  She hates it and it stresses me out!  So, the direction of my blog is changing.  I am focusing on fostering creativity in the homes of women like myself.  Women who are isolated, for whatever circumstances, in their home and are trying to be creative with time and money restraints.  So ladies...let's regain our sanity AND our creativity.  Let's blog, baby;-)   

Hearts at Home Daybook

Outside my window: It is almost dawn.  My family is still sleeping.  Trying to get a jump start on my day:) 

I am listening to: the hum of my washing machine.

I am wearing : Pajama pants, the shirt I wore yesterday, and an apron.  Sexy.

I am thankful for: my husband.  He worked through the night last night.  Went to bed at 5am when I woke up.  He works hard so I can stay home.  I love my life.

I am reading:   Hinds Feet in High Places this week.  Finished it in one night.  Chris and Tiana have a tradition started.  He is reading Hannah Hunnard's series to her every night at bedtime.  they are almost finished with Mountains of Spices.  I have been ousted.  The books are having a profound effect on both of them.  My husband doesn't read...I am ecstatic!

From the kitchen: my cabinets are bare.  Not much cooking going on here.  Looking through cookbooks and planning menus. 

I am thinking: about the economy, our country, and my children's future.  I am pretty much trying to get as knowledgeable as I can about conservatism.  What is going on right now in our country is scary.  Government expanse and massive debting.  It is going to negatively impact our children for generations.  It has GOT TO STOP! 

I am creating: an enriching environment for my family.

On my iPod:Allison Krause. 

Towards a real education: trying to keep up with Seton.  Tiana loves teaching textbooks and Math is her favorite subject.  Love it.  I love Homeschooling.  I wish everybody would do this with their kids.

I am hoping and praying: for my family.

In the garden: weeds.  Lots of them...

Around the House: putting out fires.  Still can't get a handle on all of this stuff.

On keeping home: fantasizing about being able to get help in the home someday.  Ahhhh...

One of my favorite things: Landon snuggled next to me in the morning.  He is spoiled rotten and I don't care.

A few plans for the rest of the week: catching up.  With everything.

A picture thought I’m sharing:

She was so little then.  What happened?

What we are using II

How quickly things change.  We are still using teaching textbooks but we are using Seton:)  We decided we needed more structure and support.  It should be here any day.  I was completely overwhelemed struggling with structure in the home before we even started.  I can't wait to post pictures of the excitement on her face when her box gets here!

What we are using...

Krystiana and I are starting our first year of Homeschooling.  I am seeking the help of one of Tiana's old teachers to help me with my lesson plans.  I have my curriculum but don't have any set plans yet:( 

Math: Teaching Textbooks
History: Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer
Science: Apologia Botany, Handbook of Nature Study, and The Outdoor Hour.
Writing: Institute for Excellence in Writing Teaching/Writing student intensive combo
Spelling/Phonics: Phonetic Zoo
Religion: The Baltimore Catechism, The Bible, Fisheaters.com, and various books on the Saints.
Geography: Maps, Globes, and Google University;-)
Literature: Following the Real Learning Booklist.

Good Advice

I found this prayer on Elizabeth Foss' website.  You have no idea how bad I needed this.  If only I could have started my day with it!  It has been a tumultuous first week of school.  I am wiped out from being on an emotional roller coaster.  I hope this helps you as much as it helped me:)

Daily Prayer

O Lord, grant that with Your peace I may greet all that this day is to bring. Grant me grace to surrender myself completely to Your Holy Will. In every hour of this day instruct me and guide me in all things. Teach me to accept tranquilly whatever tidings I may receive during this day, in the firm belief that Your Holy Will governs all. Govern my thoughts and feelings in all that I do and say. When unforeseen things occur, let me not forget that all is sent by You. Teach me to behave sincerely and reasonably toward everyone, so that I may bring confusion and sorrow to no one. Bestow on me, O Lord, strength to endure the fatigue of the day and to bear my part in its events. Guide my will and teach me to pray, to believe, to suffer, to forgive and to love. Amen. ~St. John Kronstadt

 

A Break...

I have been limiting my Internet time lately.  Willow is going through a "growth spurt."  I have learned (the hard way) you have to seize these limited times of neurological growth and be really aggressive.  I am as spending as much time with her as possible and we have increased her private therapy to 5 hours a week.  The biggest gain recently is she is not having as many sensory issues and OCD like habits. If everything was not "just right" she would scream bloody murder:-(  She was also very, very destructive.  Exhausting. All of the sudden, it just quit being so obsessively important to her. Her habits were getting pretty bad and it made going anywhere with her difficult: fans on, doors shut, lights on, and don't drain the tub!  It made home difficult too.  Her growth spurts are usually preceded by a time of regression that is almost unbearable.  It makes taking care of her more than a full time job that does not include my housework.  Truthfully, during these times I wish I could afford to have help in the home.  Because my other kids get completely ignored.  Right now, I have time to spend with my other children.  I am also able to nurture their relationship with Willow in a way that is impossible when she is having severe sensory issues.  Time is a very rare commodity around here.  We are reading, playing outside, and visiting friends.  The kinds of things other families get to do and (usually) take them for granted.  I don't know how long it will be like this.  My children are blooming.  We are going through a time of great blessing  right now and I  don't want to miss a single moment.   I am taking a cue from this woman and embracing my life.  This fall, Krystiana is starting her Homeschooling journey and I am planning on sharing and exchanging ideas.  Until then, I am enjoying my time with my family and friends:-)

First Communion

My daughter Willow will receive her First Holy Communion this month.  It would be impossible for me to express what this milestone means to our family.  I have spent most of her eight years on earth on my knees.   She has blessed me so much.  I know that God sent her to me for my salvation.  I have been so busy preparing that blogging has fallen to the bottom of my "to do" list.  My absence from the Internet does not mean my life is not bearing fruit.  In fact, it has been the opposite.  For the first time in my life, I feel like I am living exactly how the Lord wants me to.  Which is totally open to his will.  That is not to say that I do not struggle daily with my responsibilities.  I have just figured out that if I put God first life goes much smoother.  My husband and I have lived through the past 15 years of trials and we are still standing.  I am doing alot of purging right now.  I am getting rid of the emotional, physical, and spiritual clutter in my life.  It is taking awhile.  This "new growth" has not come without a substantial amount of pain.  I feel like a rosebush that has been cut back severely, in order to bloom more beautifully.  The cutting hurt.  I went through infertility, sickness, financial problems, and Willow's Autism diagnosis just to name just a few.  Right now, I feel like I am blooming.  Psalm 1:3 says: 

But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in his law doth he meditate day and night.  He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.

I am planted  firmly by my Willow and we are drinking from that stream.  Our family is bearing fruit and prospering.  I am so, so grateful.  Thank you Lord, for my Willow who helped me grow by You. 

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...

From the desire of being extolled ...

From the desire of being honored ...

From the desire of being praised ...

From the desire of being preferred to others...

From the desire of being consulted ...

From the desire of being approved ...

From the fear of being humiliated ...

From the fear of being despised...

From the fear of suffering rebukes ...

From the fear of being calumniated ...

From the fear of being forgotten ...

From the fear of being ridiculed ...

From the fear of being wronged ...

From the fear of being suspected ...

 

That others may be loved more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Day 36-Ecumenism

If you are true to your faith, there are things you give up for your faith-Amish Proverb

When I was in elementary school my class took a trip to Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.  That one trip, started a life long fascination with the Amish. I could go on for days but I think the thing I admire most is their simplicity.  I think that their lifestyles resemble the way God intended our life on earth to be like.  I think modern life is out of control; we are educated but ignorant, we have money but we are poor (materialism, debt), we are religious but unchristian, we have children and not families. Obviously, I am an Orthodox Catholic.  That does not mean that I am opposed to other faiths.  I don't limit my friendships and mentors to women who are Catholic and I am grateful they didn't do that either.  On the contrary, I am shaped by other Christian faiths and admire many of their beautiful traditions.  That does not mean I am not in love with mine.  I am also grounded and properly catechised enough that I am able to discern what to take and what to leave.  It is a short list and begins and ends with judmentalism which is the root of many sins.  My friend Julie who is part of the fundamentalist "full quiver" movement has given me some amazing advice.  I choose to focus on what we have in common and not what's different and I am blessed by it.  Their view of life issues and an emphasis on the traditional family is a common thread.  I also think that talking to people from other faiths can challenge you to define your own convictions.  It helps you to discern what you believe and why you believe it.  Which leads me to one of the things I most admire about the Amish.  Although many have been drawn to the simple lives of the "plain people" they do not encourage converting.  I find their lack of egocentricity refreshing.  Their thought provoking response is this:     

"If you admire our faith, strengthen yours.  If you admire our sense of commitment, deepen yours.  If you admire our community spirit, build your own.  If you admire the simple life, cut back.  If you admire deep character and enduring values, live them yourself." 

That is good, solid advice.  One only has to turn on the television (if you must) to see the negative impact radicalism in any form has done to our world.  It is just my opinion but I believe it is not your denomination but how you live that make you a Christian.  We are supposed to imitate Christ who lived a simple, loving life while here on earth.  Living sacrificially and raising Godly children is the ultimate testimony.  Your family's faith and it's traditions are the best gift you can give your child.  It is a gift that our family gave to us and the same one we are planning to give to our kids.      

Day 35-God's Blessings

He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD! 

Psalms 113:9

Yes, he does.  I was just remembering the other day how badly I wanted children.  I have run across so many quotes in scripture about the blessing of children and bringing them up to love the Lord.  I don't know how people just don't want a dozen of them.  I would love it.  My children are all at an age where all of our "training" is bearing fruit and I love spending time educating them in their faith.  I just about have all of their homeschool curriculum and I am SO EXCITED!!!!  That being said, I have been spending less time on-line per my husbands request.  Sorry for the lack of updates but priorities, you know.  Things are still going great around here.  There is a beautiful rhythm in our home now which I LOVE.  I have continued with my Proverbs study.  I think it is one of the best things I have done spiritually for myself in a long, long time.  I pray before I open my Bible and ask God to bless me with Wisdom through his word.  I also pray for Him to answer specific things that are weighing on my heart.  It is blessing me in a profound way.  I am planning on continuing this throughout my life and teaching the kids my favorite passages.  Alex, especially, has been open to learning scripture and I want to foster that.   I believe scripture meditation and memorization are essential to having a strong spiritual life.  I found these great scripture cards for the kids at Bibliomania.  We have been going over them a little at dinner.  One of the first ones I opened was this favorite scripture of mine: 

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all of your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3: 5, 6.

Hope your day is blessed:-)

Day 31-Abundance

When Landon gets tired his favorite word is "No!"  He will argue with EVERYTHING you say.  My life is in a very, very good place right now.  My marriage is great, my house is in order, and my kids have never been better.  I think it is because I have my priorities straight and He has lightened my load (Matt. 11:29, 30.)   So when he was screaming at the top of his lungs last night, I was able to be patient.  It still wasn't enough.  He was still upset.  Then, he did the strangest thing.  He stop crying looked at me and said: "I want to pray the Rosary."  He climbed up in my bed and laid next to me and waited patiently for me to begin.  I started to pray and he calmly fell asleep with in ten minutes.  It is little sacred moments like this that I know He is there with me.   I have never felt so much peace.  I read the first chapter of Proverbs today the verse that struck me the most was:

Listen my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.  they shall be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9   

When I watched him sleep last night thoughts of what his future would be like ran through my head.  I thought of all of my hopes and dreams for him.  Oh, I hope he loves Him. I hope he is blessed and serves the Lord.  I hope he lives a long and fruitful life.  I hope he finds a wife that loves him and fears the Lord.  I hope he has the gift of many children to love him and take care of him when he is old. I hope and I pray...Hail Mary, full of grace...   

Day 28...Amazing!

I have been sticking to the new format of reading from Proverbs every day.  I has been a very convicting but fruitful experience.  The Lord has put several things on my heart lately.  I feel the most important is a new search for true Wisdom.  I am experiencing a reformation that is beautiful but also a little uncomfortable.  Spiritual growth always is.  I am not wanting to leave my faith but evangelize within it through my Domestic Church.  It is a desire for Orthodoxy and simplification in my life.  That is the uncomfortable part; Catholics can be a lethargic lot.  I am already experiencing friction.  I think that when you have been given a gift it is hard to see its value.  We live in a society that moral relativism is rampant.  I am picking the "board out of my own eye" when I tell you I have succumbed on many, many occasions.  I am at a crossroads in my life and it is about to change in a way that is beyond words.  I am bringing my children home in order to prepare them for Heaven.  The task seems enormous but I know that it is God's will.  I am prepared for spiritual warfare because I know that anytime you prepared to put Him first the enemy is there to try and spoil your plans.  I call it the five D's: doubt, discouragement, diversion, defeat, and delay.  Right on cue the doorbell just rang.  It is my new curriculum.  God's timing is perfect!  

Proverbs 28:8 He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is safe.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Prayer: Lord help me to not conform to this world.  Help me to look to you for what is right and keep Your Commandments.  Give me Wisdom to raise my children and prepare them for eternity with You.  Amen.

Family Picture

Okay, my husband wrote me in order to gently call my attention to my picture.  I have started getting up at 5am in order to pack everything into my day that I need to.  Obviously, this wasn't the right one!  It cracked me up so bad that I am posting it here.  Ah, motherhood!

Day 27-What I'm contemplating

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

So are the children of one's youth.

How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;

They will not be ashamed

When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127:3, 4, 5 

NASB

I spoke to an old friend the other day.  I sponsored her through RCIA and it has been years since we have talked.  She is doing amazing but things have changed a little.  She has six beautiful daughters and is part of the fundamentalist "quiver full movement."  I think that this is probably the only protestant church that I agree with most of what they are saying.  It is the same faith as the Duggars.  When the liberal press describes this religion it says "they are more Catholic than Catholics."  They are completely open to life, Biblically based, and many opt to Homeschool their children.  They have very similar convictions to a small number of Orthodox Catholics left in our Church (92% of Catholic women are on the pill or have preformed some type of permanent sterilization).  I have looked up several of their sights and I am planning on using some of their tools for homeschooling.  One of the things that I loved was called "Wisdom Searching" scripture meditation.  I downloaded the e-book and I am using it as a guide.  I also loved Managers of Their Homes.  I already started my own version (see the sidebar).  Wish me luck.  I started today and I got up at 5:00 am.  The messages from Medjugorje speak of Wisdom from the Bible.  Our Lady of Peace says that we should be reading the Bible every day.  This is my next habit I will be working on.  I want to start a daily scripture meditation and Bible Study.  I am working on character values for the children.  They are doing so well, especially Alex.  I can feel God leading us to the "Narrow Path."  It is a difficult but Grace filled journey. 

40 day devotional-Day 24-What happend?

So sorry!  I have dropped the ball!  I hope you have been continuing with your own prayers and scripture study.  I have developed some (hopefully) lifelong habits over the past several weeks.  I hope it has helped you as much as it has helped me.  I appreciate all of your prayers.  We have been crazy busy.  Kids are finishing school and I am prepping for summer.  I am on a whirlwind cleaning spree here in my home.  Last night I darted off to the ER with Landon.  He busted his chin on the tub for the second time!  We did manage to get in a great afternoon with the kids.  We bought Willow a little pool to pass the summer with.  It was freezing cold but she stayed in for three hours!  Her brothers and sisters all ditched on her:-(  The summer is our scariest time of the year.  Willow stands at the door with her swimsuit and life vest on saying: "go see summer swimmy." If we let her, she would wander the neighborhood looking for pools.  We have to watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesn't run off.  Please, please pray that she stays close and she will quit running. 

Prayer:  Lord, please keep everyone safe this summer.  Send your Guardian Angels to watch all of your precious little ones.  Help us to make the most of our time with our children and utilize our resources well.  Amen 

Day 19-Giving Thanks.

This week I have so much to be thankful for.  My family is settling into what is our kind of normal.  All of the kids had an AMAZING week.  Tiana won third out of the entire fourth grade for her art.  Alex is having more "superstar" days than bad days and Lannie is just, well, adorable.  Did I mention spoiled?  Willow is doing so much better:-)  I am actively planning our summer activities and I am really excited.  We were able to get in a little extra therapy and I can tell it is already paying off.  I am blessed to have such incredible people working with her.  I am also thankful for the many prayers being offered up for my family.  I can feel them.  Many, many, thanks for all of you who are praying.  I love you.  You don't know how much.

40 day devotional-Day 18

Okay, I found this new blog and it ROCKS!  She did 30 days of prayers for Autism awareness month in April.  Short, sweet, to the point.  I am changing my format to not be so "wordy."  Laughs!  Through her blog I also found TONS of other bloggers with special needs kids.  Truly inspirational and amazing people.  The thing that inspired me the most is there are literally thousands of people out there walking this same road with me.  I am not alone even when I am stuck at home when I am too tired or afraid to venture out.    They get what I am saying.  The Internet is full of junk but it can be such a blessing  if you know where to look.  Recently, I wrote about how Willow's destructiveness guards me against materialism. 

"Liberality-Okay, if you are not a follower of my blog, you will get the condensed version. We are broke. Literally gave up everything so that my daughter would have even the slimmest chance at a good quality of life. I really could care less what we have or if it gets broken. I am not the least bit attached to anything but my DH and kids. Most people say they aren't materialistic but you should see the way they chase my daughter around so she won't break anything."

I got a well intentioned (anonymous) comment by someone who obviously does not live with Autism, or me, about why some people chase my daughter around.  I deleted it.  They don't get it, at all.  This person does.  This article touched me so deeply.  I can't begin to tell you.  She talks about things being "broken" and how God sees them whole, perfect.  The Great Healer.  I pray that today, that we find a cure for Autism.  I pray that someday my daughter can look at me and talk.  That she can can get married, have children, become a nun...or whatever she wants.  More than anything I pray that if God chooses not to heal her that he give me the wisdom to care for her and teach her.  I also pray that God surrounds her with loving people that are kind...and tolerant (Matthew 25:31-46). 

    

40 Day Devotional-Day 17-Trials

Sirach Chapter 2:1-18
My son, when you come to serve the LORD, prepare yourself for trials.
Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity.

Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great.
Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient;
For in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation.
Trust God and he will help you; make straight your ways and hope in him.
You who fear the LORD, wait for his mercy, turn not away lest you fall.
You who fear the LORD, trust him, and your reward will not be lost.
You who fear the LORD, hope for good things, for lasting joy and mercy.
Study the generations long past and understand; has anyone hoped in the LORD and been disappointed? Has anyone persevered in his fear and been forsaken? has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed?
Compassionate and merciful is the LORD; he forgives sins, he saves in time of trouble.
Woe to craven hearts and drooping hands, to the sinner who treads a double path!
Woe to the faint of heart who trust not, who therefore will have no shelter!
Woe to you who have lost hope! what will you do at the visitation of the LORD?
Those who fear the LORD disobey not his words; those who love him keep his ways.
Those who fear the LORD seek to please him, those who love him are filled with his law.
Those who fear the LORD prepare their hearts and humble themselves before him.
Let us fall into the hands of the LORD and not into the hands of men, For equal to his majesty is the mercy that he shows.

“Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.” James 1:2-4

I really had no idea how strong I could be until I had children. It has shaped me in the most beautiful, unbelievable way. I have spent countless hours on my knees and have seen God working in my life and my constant companion. We have experienced trials in some form or another during most of our 15 year relationship. That does not mean my life is without joy. Far from it. We are happier than most of the people we know because we do not take anything for granted anymore. That includes each other. Autism and all of its challanges has changed my life in such a positve way. This sounds ironic but I feel sorry for people that only have typical children. Adversity changes lives. The part that is more ironic is that they feel sorry for me. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about the funny things people say about parenting a child with Autism. She has two sons and they are both on the spectrum. Our kids go to school together and we have become close. One of the things that she finds the most laughable, is the notion that she has some inherent quality that made her more equipped to handle two kids on the spectrum. We hear this ALL THE TIME: "I don't know how you do it. I would just go crazy" or "God only chooses special people to raise special needs kids." That is also known as a "back handed compliment." Think about the true meaning of those statements. It is a charming notion but anybody that knows me know I am far from a super parent. What we both agreed on, was that it was really about rising to meet the challenge because we love our kids. I am also very, very stubborn. I just flat out refuse to quit or give up. I really don't want people to look at me as the parenting worst-case-scenario. It could be worse...we could be the Schiffli's. God has no testimony in me if I fail. I love the Lord and want to glorify Him so I work very, very hard to raise Godly children and have a good marriage. So I guess if stubbornness is a good quality for parenting a child with Autism, God picked the right family. I am also very aware that most people do look at raising any special needs child as burdensome, not the true blessing that it is. That said, I have learned not to take what others have to say too seriously. Comments are usually well-intentioned and said in the hopes of being beneficial.

Todays Prayer: Lord, help me to be a testimony to you through my life and the lives of my children. Help me to be a good wife and mother so I can honor You in my vocation. Amen.

40 Day Devotional-Day 16

We went out last week with some friends and we got on the topic of marriage. They commented how lucky I was that I married the right person. Chris was sitting right next to me and blurted out: "It's not luck, it's hard work!" He is so incredibly right! We have worked very, very hard to make our marriage the way it is. We are in our 15th year and I am just starting to feel really comfortable. I definitely think our "secret weapon" is the fact we both feel so strongly about our faith. It sustains us. We are getting to an age that we are witnessing, more frequently, marriages falling apart. I have been praying for the words to help advise my friends and family when they are having problems. I found a few quotes that reflect my thinking and values. I'd like to share them.

Marriage is not about marrying the right person but being the right person.

People think they have to find their soulmate to have a good marriage. You're not going to "find" your soulmate. Anyone you meet already has soulmates. Their mother. Their father. Their lifelong friends. You get married, and after 20 years of loving,bearing and raising children, meeting challenges - then you'll have "created" your soulmate.-- Diane Sollee

I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.-- Zig Ziglar

People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on "being in love" for ever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are entitled to a change -not realizing that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one. In this department of life, as in every other, thrills come at the beginning and do not last... but if you go through with it, the dying away of the first thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. - CS Lewis

Colossians 3:12-19
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Today's Prayer: Lord, thank you for the blessing of my spouse. Help me to be as loving and forgiving to them, as you have been to me.

40 Day Devotional-Day 15-Love

It has been a difficult week but I have learned so, so much. So I am contemplating this...

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:1-1

and this...

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Today's Prayer: Lord, may I so live the life of love this day that all those with whom I have anything to do with may be as sure of love in the world as they are of the sunlight. Anonymous.

40 Day Devotional-Day 14-Courage

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."Proverbs 3:5-6

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."Proverbs 16:3

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."Hebrew 11:1

The simple message today is be unique. Be yourself. God created you to do something amazing. You are the only one that can do it. The only way that you can accomplish it is to remain steadfast in your faith and keep your eyes on Him. It is so easy in this day in age to get DISTRACTED. Don't look at other people and what they are doing with their life! That is not your path. Don't listen to negative talk or criticism. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "You are doing what?" I have learned not to take it personal and go on. You don't have to explain yourself to everyone. Chris and I are in the unique position of being the parents of a child with Autism. We learned very quickly that sometimes the professionals don't have all of the answers. It has definately helped us to 'think outside the box.' We have learned to rely on God and trust our instincts. It has served us very well. There is a 90% divorce rate for parents of special needs kids. We are still together and very in love after 15 years. We have four amazing children and a network of friends and family that we are very, very blessed to have. God always provides for our needs and we just don't worry anymore. We know we are doing what God intended us to do. We are supposed to be making Saints.

Today's Prayer: Lord, help me to remain steadfast in my faith. Help me to resist the temptation to look at others as my yardstick. Help me only to look at you. Help me not to covet or envy. Also, help me to 'train up my child' so I can watch my children grow in their faith. Protect my children from harm. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

40 day devotional-day 13

Wise Advice from Mother Teresa
( because it was never between you and them )
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,you will win some false friends and some true enemies;Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,people may cheat you;Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building,someone could destroy overnight.Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,they may be jealous;Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,people will often forget tomorrow;Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,and it may never be enough;Give the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysisit is between you and God;it was never between you and them anyway.
This poem is engraved on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta.

I really needed to read this daily this week!

Todays Prayer: Lord, help me to be kind, forgiving, sucessful, honest, frank, to build, happy, good, and give the best I've got. Forgive me when I fail. Inevitibly, I will.

40 day devotional-day 12

The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish. Pope John Paul II

The most beautiful complement I ever received about one of my pregnancies was from a priest. When I told him I was pregnant he said: "How generous of you." Being open to life is generous. God loves to create and we are his co-creators. Amazing. My priest's compliment was in direct contrast to the negative comments from most everyone else. I am constantly shocked by how closed most people are to having more than two kids. I also find it sad that when someone who does have a bigger family announces "we're done." So that others will know they are being "responsible." When did we have to start making excuses for family size? When did we quit letting God plan and trusting that he would never give us more children than we could handle? The pervasive attitude in our society is that children are a financial drain. I was at an Autism fundraiser one time and we started going around the tables and introducing ourselves. When I announced I had four children one of the members said: "You're not having anymore kids, right?" It was as if I were somehow irresponsible for having a larger family since I had a child with a disability. I actually think that Willow is blessed to have brothers and sisters. She doesn't need "socialization" because there is a constant stream of kids coming and going from our house. Chris and I also get to experience a "typical" family life with our other children. It also teaches my "typical" children to be responsible for others and to respects those with special needs. It is Catholic social teaching in action. Life is always a gift, never a curse. My great Aunt had a daughter with Spina Bifida. This was years ago, when most families were choosing to put their children in homes (now many choose to abort.) My Aunt refused to put her daughter away. They told my Aunt and uncle their daughter would not even live until her fourth birthday. She lived well into her middle years and was an amazing person. She absolutely bloomed in my Aunt's care. My cousin was severely multi handicapped. My Aunt told me that they decided not to have anymore children so they could take care of my cousin. She did. Beautifully. What she underestimated was how hard it was going to be to take care of her in her older years. Her husband passed away and she did not have other children to help with her care. She was elderly and taking care of her was very, very hard but she did it. Eventually, her daughter died and she is alone now. When Willow was diagnosed she took me aside and told me to have as many children as I could. That she thought she was doing the right thing. Looking back, it would have been better for her to have siblings. That was the voice of experience talking and I listened. It truly was one of the best pieces of advice anyone has ever given me. I always tell people that Chris and I are so lucky because we will never be empty nesters. Some days are challenging but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Today's Prayer: Lord, please help families to embrace the gift of the Church's teachings on life and NFP. Help us to have the faith and understanding that you will never forsake us. Help me to remain open to life and your will. Amen.

40 day devotional-day 11

Sarah,

This prayer is for you. I love you. May God bless you abundantly with more children.

Blessings,

Tosha

Prayer to Our lady of La Leche for Another Child
Lovely Lady of La Leche, most loving mother of the Child Jesus, and my Mother, listen to my humble prayer. Your motherly heart knows my every wish, my every need. To you only, His spotless Virgin Mother, has your Divine Son given to understand the sentiments which fill my soul. Yours was the sacred privilege of being the Mother of the Saviour. Intercede with Him now, my loving Mother, that, in accordance with His will, I may become the mother of other children of our heavenly Father. This I ask, O Lady of La Leche, in the Name of your Divine Son, My Lord and Redeemer. Amen.

Today's Prayer: Lord, we pray for an end to abortion. We pray for all mothers to cherish and value life. We thank you for the precious treasures we have. We also pray for those trying to conceive that they be blessed with more children. Amen.

40 day devotional day 10

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

---

40 day devotional-day 9

Autism and the 7 deadly sins:
Did that catch your eye? I have always claimed that Willow literally has saved me. Any person that lives with a child with Autism is on an escalator to heaven. Not because we are saints or even extrordinary people. This devotional is a little more lighthearted but I definately think there is some truth in it. I would like to explain...

The Seven deadly sins are:
Pride-Unrestrained appreciation of our own worth
Greed-Immoderate desire for earthly goods
Lust-Hankering for impure pleasures
Anger-Inordinate desire for revenge
Gluttony-Unrestrained use of food and drink
Envy-Sorrow over another's good fortune
Sloth-Laxity in keeping the Faith and the practice of virtue

The opposite virtues are:
Humility
Liberality
Chastity
Meekness
Temperance
Brotherly Love
Diligence

Let's go through the opposite virtues one by one...
Humility-every day I understand that I really have NO IDEA what I am doing. I have no idea what my daughter is thinking and I am DESPERATE! I am down on my knees begging God to give me an answer. If cleaning up fecal smears is not humbling; there is no hope for you.
Liberality-Okay, if you are not a follower of my blog, you will get the condensed version. We are broke. Literally gave up everything so that my daughter would have even the slimmest chance at a good quality of life. I really could care less what we have or if it gets broken. I am not the least bit attached to anything but my DH and kids. Most people say they aren't materialistic but you should see the way they chase my daughter around so she won't break anything.
Chastity-Let's be honest here. I really don't have time or desire to fool around. I know infidelity may be a problem but not here. Not even the least bit interested. At all. Nobody would ever love the kids and I the way that Chris does. Dated too much. Got my heart smashed. Been there. Done that. It's not worth it. Still got a good one. Thank God for him every day!
Meekness-I have got to be candid. I really do get angry when people are staring or rude to my daughter. Or any of my kids for that matter. Judgement is going to be my constant companion throughout my life with Willow. I used to snap at people but then I realised why make someone feel as bad as me? An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. I look at confrontations with people when it comes to my child with Autism as teaching opportunities. I am not trying to be prideful but I am getting pretty good at it. I run through Autism statistics so fast they don't even know what hit them. Now, I use these situations as an opportunity to "instruct the ignorant." One of the Seven Corporal works of mercy!
Temperance-Well, our economic situation really is not condusive to being gluttonous. But I do like to have a good drink (who wouldn't?) and I love to cook (not very good at it.) So, I'm working on it!
Brotherly Love-I really don't begruge anyone anything. I happen to have a couple of friends who are very wealthy. They feel guilty. I always tell them "Would you rather be stressed out and broke like me?" Then they laugh.

Diligence-I really don't know how unbelievers go through life without going crazy! My faith sustains me. I have a great community of friends that share my same values. They are my lifeline. Autism has definately made me more devout and orthodox in my faith.

That being said I know the "Seven Deadly Sins" are a bit oldschool. I really think that we should be taking a serious reevaluation about what is important. I also think you should cut yourself some slack. Raising a family is HARD WORK. Figure out your problem areas and work on them. Just do it a step at a time.

Todays prayer: Lord help me live a virtuous life. Help me to live in humility, liberality, chastity, meekness, temperance, brotherly Love, and diligence. Amen

40 day devotional-Day 8

Our Lady of Sorrows

Deacon John Donelly referenced Our Lady of Sorrows today during Mass. He explained that when we have our babies Baptized rarely do we understand what motherhood really entails. This was especially the case with The Blessed Mother. Motherhood is like Golgotha he said. Amen. I was on the edge of my seat listening to...every. single. word. During the homily Landon started running a fever and fell asleep in my lap. It was only 12:30 and Chris and I were already exhausted and fighting to stay awake during Mass. My morning started with Willow peeing on the floor in her room. This Mother's Day was raw. The kids brought me breakfast and all of their gifts from school but today there was no pretending things are normal around here. I was reading this article by Faith and Family Live. It is about the seven sorrows of Mary. The more I thought about it the more blessed I felt. After Mass, Chris and I were cuddled up with our sick baby. We held hands. I got up and made brownies with Willow and spent time watching her dance and giggle in her own little world. Tiana and Alex played upstairs and the house was quiet. This is our kind of normal. I looked at my husband, exhausted from the morning and I FELT LOVE. It would not be possible without Him. Scripture says: And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2Cor 12:9. In my weakness today I received His grace. I thank the greatest Mother the world will ever see today. How can you thank someone that gave up her only Son so that I can spend eternity in Heaven? How can I thank her for all of the times that her Son has carried me? Given me hope? Today, I am giving thanks to Our Blessed Mother for all of the sacrifices and suffering she endured for me. I thank her for showing me how to say "yes" to life and to Jesus. I will contemplate the Wedding feast of Cana and her words "Do whatever He tells you." I will.

Today's Prayer:

Magnificat

My soul magnifies the Lord,And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.For He has regarded the low estate of His handmaiden,For behold, henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name. And His mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation.He has shown strength with His arm:He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.He has put down the mighty from their thrones,and exalted those of low degree.He has filled the hungry with good things;and the rich He has sent empty away.He has helped His servant Israel, in remembrance of His mercy;As He spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to His posterity forever.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen

Day 7- The Proverbs 31 Woman.

The Proverbs 31 Woman :
Her Character as a Wife
10An excellent wife, who can find?For her worth is far above jewels.
rare, precious
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,And he will have no lack of gain.
trustworthy
12She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
kind

Her Devotion as a Homemaker
13She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight.
works joyfully
14She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.
goes extra mile to get choicest goods
15She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens.

disciplined
16She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
enterprising, prudent with money
17She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong.
energetic
18She senses that her gain is good;Her lamp does not go out at night.
good steward
19She stretches out her hands to the distaff,And her hands grasp the spindle.
diligent

Her Generosity as a Neighbor
20She extends her hand to the poor,And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
compassionate, generous

Her Devotion as a Homemaker
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household,For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
provident
22She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
elegant
23Her husband is known in the gates,When he sits among the elders of the land.
influential
24She makes linen garments and sells them,And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
industrious

Her Influence as a Teacher
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,And she smiles at the future.
poised
26She opens her mouth in wisdom,And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
wise

Her Effectiveness as a Mother
27She looks well to the ways of her household,And does not eat the bread of idleness.
manages her home
28Her children rise up and bless her;Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
praiseworthy

Her Excellence as a Person
29"Many daughters have done nobly,But you excel them all."
distinguished
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
God-fearing
31Give her the product of her hands,And let her works praise her in the gates.
honored
~ Proverbs 31:10-31

Initially, this is a pretty intimidating list. It is also very uplifting for me. It tells me exactly what God finds attractive. I think of it as a "leg up." I actually do know a couple of "Proverbs 31 women." They are not intimidating in the least. They are sweet, humble, and inspirational...to name just a few qualities. I am going to do a Bible study on the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman after our devotional. Get ready!

Today's Prayer: Lord help me to become the Proverbs 31 woman. Help me to focus on being beautiful to you and your standards and not the worlds ideals. Help me to see myself the same way you see me. Not the critical way I see myself. Amen.

40 day devotional-day 6

"Lord,I believe;help thou my unbelief." -Mark 9:24

I really did not mean to take a sabbatical from my devotional. Please forgive me and love me. I need that so much, now. Over the last couple of days my daughter has been regressing so much it is scaring me. Last night, my sister went out with my father to dinner. She left me with her 15 month old to care for. My mother was here and we decided it would be best that she took care of my nephew. Agreed. The few hours my sister was gone and my husband attended a work function were the hardest in my parenting life. Willow was completely destructive. I would go to clean something up and she was already on to the next mess. In a few short hours she:

• Pooped on the floor in the playroom


• urinated on my floor in my bedroom


• dumped water in the living room


• dumped lemonade in her room.


• The "grand finale" was her dumping my red wine spritzer and throwing it against the wall and all over the floor. Judge me...but I really wanted that drink!

I know my limits...so I put her in her room so I could go somewhere and have a good cry. I went to my office and e-mailed my husband about the "reign of terror" that was going on at our house. I heard a huge thud. I ignored it. Ten minutes later I heard my mother screaming in terror. She had tripped and had been laying in my sisters room, unable to move and get up. She had crawled to the door and opened it. Only then, could we hear her and ran upstairs. The baby was terrified and I felt horrible and started crying too. It was pretty much chaos until the kids went to bed. I was snapping, grouchy, and most of all unloving to the most vunerable members of my household. Pretty much feeling like a total failure. I had nothing left. Then...I got this e-mail from the mother of my precious Godson:

"Amen, Sister. God loves you and so do I! Big hugs to you, Tiana, Willow, Landon, Alex, and Chris from all of us here. We miss you and are inspired by you. Thank you for your blog. It is beautiful and amazing as well as humbling. I love the look on Willow’s face. The wheels are turning in there. What an amazing little girl you have. What an amazing little family you have. I think you have no idea the inspiration you provide so many of us who read your blogs. Have you considered turning your blogs into a book? I can totally see you as a published author. Think about it…"

Never underestimate the power of a good friend (Sirach 6:5-17). In my darkest hour, I saw the face of Jesus in her. Telling me that God loves me and how amazing my family is. He knew exactly what I needed to hear to help my "unbelief" and inability to see him in the moment. Thank you my sweet friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you with all that I have.

Today's prayer: Lord surround me with "true friends." Help me to be a friend and help me to conduct myself in a manner that honors you. Let us strive to become the Proverbs 31 woman and truly become "Sisters in Christ."