Special Moms

Ode to Special Moms
(by Erma Bombeck)
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger."Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecilia."Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations."I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Unconstuctive criticism

Ever since my husband and I have announced we are homeschooling, we have been hit with a barrage of "well-intentioned" criticism. My family and I are going the narrow path. In this modern era of family and financial planning it is really not a popular lifestyle. I have a few friends that are walking this path with me. I do not understand this fear of not "socializing" our children. I really don't care because we are supposed to be using Jesus as our yardstick. Not our friends and family...enter moral relativism. Chris and I have decided to Homeschool our children because we want our children to have the best opportunity to get to Heaven possible. I really don't believe that we are going to find what we need in public schools and parish RE classes. As a whole, those programs turn out some pretty undistinguished students. Out of the thousands of people I have met that have graduated from public schools...maybe five have attained what I want for my kids. That is pretty horrible odds. Now that they have lifted the classroom size mandate, I'll bet it's nil. They are notoriously underfunded and base curriculum on test scores, not quality. Parish RE is one hour a week. You would do better to educate your children in their faith by surrounding yourself with Orthodox families and leading your children by example. That means you, on your knees, reading the Bible and properly Catechising yourself in the faith. A parish RE class can't make up for that. It is about quality, not quantity. Just because another family is Catholic doesn't mean they are going to be the best examples. Timothy McVeigh was raised Catholic. Chris and I look to our Grandparents for their great examples of family life. They were raised in rural "isolated" environments and did not "socialize" with the exception of school. They are functioning in society just fine, thank you. They went to Catholic schools or lived in areas that were mostly Catholic if they did go to public. They did not participate in competitive group sports. I am not opposed to organized sports but if you look at today's "role models" they are really pathetic . It isn't about teaching sportsmanship and teamwork anymore. In our Grandparent's time sport figures did not make that much money. Go stand at the sidelines now and watch how some of the parents act. It will turn your stomoch. Our Grandparent's spent most of their time with family and their family life revolved around church and it's community. They were also pure and waited for marriage. The average age for US kids to lose their virginity is between 16-17. Yikes. I am sure it has something to do with the fact that there is a 50% divorce rate in the US. In the 1950's it was between 5-10%. Before that, almost nothing. Throw in the fact that most of these kids are also being raised by day cares, not their parents! 47% of children receive some type of non-parental childcare and spend their free time in organized activities. How much parenting can really be done? In our Grandparents age that was very, very rare. They came from large families and had large families which taught their children RESPONSIBILITY. They helped with the housework, chores, and took care of younger siblings and even had elderly Grandparents living with them. This type of lifestyle can only be taught at home now. It is not available even in rural areas because we are living in the Bible belt. Catholics are only 12% of the population and many protestant churches can be openly hostile. Most of the textbooks I am using come from "The Golden Age" of Catholic Schools. I know it is Pre-Vatican II but it turned out some pretty amazing scholars and vocations were booming. Anyway, in response to a recent accusation that "you can't isolate your kids." You can, and should if you know what is good for them. You need to be very picky about who you let your kids associate with. We need role models! What most people consider parenting these days is sub-par, at best. What we have now is children as a new leisure class. We are having smaller families, teaching less responsibility and children are spending less time at home with the families that should be influencing them. So, I am opting not to "socialize" my children. I will leave you with a quote from Pope John Paul II: "The future of humanity passes by way of the family." My hope is to positively influence the world by educating my children at home.

Out of the mouths of babes

My daughter Krystiana and I have an evening routine. Every night, we talk, read about the Saints, and pray the Rosary. Our evening talks are amazing and I feel very blessed to be raising this little Saint. We got into the topic of confession and how some churches are not Sacramentally based. I explained that they do not have confession. She replied back "I don't know why. It feels so good to go to confession. It's like being stuck in a locker with a bunch of stinky socks and someone lets you out!" I couldn't have said it better myself.

Let the children come unto me...

It never ceases to amaze me how God blesses me through the faith of my children. I have been struggling with what to do with Willow for her First Communion for a very long time. It has challenged me and I have prayed for several years about what God wants me to do. I take the spiritual and moral formation of my children very seriously (Matt 18:6). Willow does not have the mental capability to commit sin. She does not have a malicious bone in her body. She is serene, kind, and beautiful. Pure. Still fresh from God. So how do you educate her in a sacramentally based church? Well, the answer is to have an amazing faith community that knows your family and understands their needs. Last week, Father Joe called me to assure me that they would work with Willow. He said they would do everything that they could to help my daughter experience the sacraments at her level. He "met us where we are at" like Christ meets us daily. Today, I received a second phone call from Carol Bryan the director of Religious Education for the Church of Saint Benedict. She spoke with Fr. Joe and they decided that it would be better for Willow to have her own celebration. She would be surrounded by friends and family in a familiar, quiet environment. I couldn't ask for more. I can't wait to see my daughter smiling in her First Communion "Princess" gown. Our family will be able to experience this special tradition together. I will be surrounded by our closest friends and family who don't mind if I cry through the whole thing. Pack your tissues!!!

Inspired

Well, I am on a mission. I am wanting to get from this...

To this....

Or this...

Krystiana and I are excited about our new adventure. I just received my Real Learning book from By Way of the Family. It is amazing and I already have 7 books lined up to read before summer. Elizabeth Foss' writing is inspired. I am looking forward to the future and a lifetime of learning with my children.