40 Day Devotional-Day 17-Trials

Sirach Chapter 2:1-18
My son, when you come to serve the LORD, prepare yourself for trials.
Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity.

Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great.
Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient;
For in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation.
Trust God and he will help you; make straight your ways and hope in him.
You who fear the LORD, wait for his mercy, turn not away lest you fall.
You who fear the LORD, trust him, and your reward will not be lost.
You who fear the LORD, hope for good things, for lasting joy and mercy.
Study the generations long past and understand; has anyone hoped in the LORD and been disappointed? Has anyone persevered in his fear and been forsaken? has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed?
Compassionate and merciful is the LORD; he forgives sins, he saves in time of trouble.
Woe to craven hearts and drooping hands, to the sinner who treads a double path!
Woe to the faint of heart who trust not, who therefore will have no shelter!
Woe to you who have lost hope! what will you do at the visitation of the LORD?
Those who fear the LORD disobey not his words; those who love him keep his ways.
Those who fear the LORD seek to please him, those who love him are filled with his law.
Those who fear the LORD prepare their hearts and humble themselves before him.
Let us fall into the hands of the LORD and not into the hands of men, For equal to his majesty is the mercy that he shows.

“Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.” James 1:2-4

I really had no idea how strong I could be until I had children. It has shaped me in the most beautiful, unbelievable way. I have spent countless hours on my knees and have seen God working in my life and my constant companion. We have experienced trials in some form or another during most of our 15 year relationship. That does not mean my life is without joy. Far from it. We are happier than most of the people we know because we do not take anything for granted anymore. That includes each other. Autism and all of its challanges has changed my life in such a positve way. This sounds ironic but I feel sorry for people that only have typical children. Adversity changes lives. The part that is more ironic is that they feel sorry for me. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about the funny things people say about parenting a child with Autism. She has two sons and they are both on the spectrum. Our kids go to school together and we have become close. One of the things that she finds the most laughable, is the notion that she has some inherent quality that made her more equipped to handle two kids on the spectrum. We hear this ALL THE TIME: "I don't know how you do it. I would just go crazy" or "God only chooses special people to raise special needs kids." That is also known as a "back handed compliment." Think about the true meaning of those statements. It is a charming notion but anybody that knows me know I am far from a super parent. What we both agreed on, was that it was really about rising to meet the challenge because we love our kids. I am also very, very stubborn. I just flat out refuse to quit or give up. I really don't want people to look at me as the parenting worst-case-scenario. It could be worse...we could be the Schiffli's. God has no testimony in me if I fail. I love the Lord and want to glorify Him so I work very, very hard to raise Godly children and have a good marriage. So I guess if stubbornness is a good quality for parenting a child with Autism, God picked the right family. I am also very aware that most people do look at raising any special needs child as burdensome, not the true blessing that it is. That said, I have learned not to take what others have to say too seriously. Comments are usually well-intentioned and said in the hopes of being beneficial.

Todays Prayer: Lord, help me to be a testimony to you through my life and the lives of my children. Help me to be a good wife and mother so I can honor You in my vocation. Amen.

40 Day Devotional-Day 16

We went out last week with some friends and we got on the topic of marriage. They commented how lucky I was that I married the right person. Chris was sitting right next to me and blurted out: "It's not luck, it's hard work!" He is so incredibly right! We have worked very, very hard to make our marriage the way it is. We are in our 15th year and I am just starting to feel really comfortable. I definitely think our "secret weapon" is the fact we both feel so strongly about our faith. It sustains us. We are getting to an age that we are witnessing, more frequently, marriages falling apart. I have been praying for the words to help advise my friends and family when they are having problems. I found a few quotes that reflect my thinking and values. I'd like to share them.

Marriage is not about marrying the right person but being the right person.

People think they have to find their soulmate to have a good marriage. You're not going to "find" your soulmate. Anyone you meet already has soulmates. Their mother. Their father. Their lifelong friends. You get married, and after 20 years of loving,bearing and raising children, meeting challenges - then you'll have "created" your soulmate.-- Diane Sollee

I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.-- Zig Ziglar

People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on "being in love" for ever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are entitled to a change -not realizing that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one. In this department of life, as in every other, thrills come at the beginning and do not last... but if you go through with it, the dying away of the first thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. - CS Lewis

Colossians 3:12-19
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Today's Prayer: Lord, thank you for the blessing of my spouse. Help me to be as loving and forgiving to them, as you have been to me.

40 Day Devotional-Day 15-Love

It has been a difficult week but I have learned so, so much. So I am contemplating this...

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:1-1

and this...

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Today's Prayer: Lord, may I so live the life of love this day that all those with whom I have anything to do with may be as sure of love in the world as they are of the sunlight. Anonymous.

40 Day Devotional-Day 14-Courage

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."Proverbs 3:5-6

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."Proverbs 16:3

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."Hebrew 11:1

The simple message today is be unique. Be yourself. God created you to do something amazing. You are the only one that can do it. The only way that you can accomplish it is to remain steadfast in your faith and keep your eyes on Him. It is so easy in this day in age to get DISTRACTED. Don't look at other people and what they are doing with their life! That is not your path. Don't listen to negative talk or criticism. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "You are doing what?" I have learned not to take it personal and go on. You don't have to explain yourself to everyone. Chris and I are in the unique position of being the parents of a child with Autism. We learned very quickly that sometimes the professionals don't have all of the answers. It has definately helped us to 'think outside the box.' We have learned to rely on God and trust our instincts. It has served us very well. There is a 90% divorce rate for parents of special needs kids. We are still together and very in love after 15 years. We have four amazing children and a network of friends and family that we are very, very blessed to have. God always provides for our needs and we just don't worry anymore. We know we are doing what God intended us to do. We are supposed to be making Saints.

Today's Prayer: Lord, help me to remain steadfast in my faith. Help me to resist the temptation to look at others as my yardstick. Help me only to look at you. Help me not to covet or envy. Also, help me to 'train up my child' so I can watch my children grow in their faith. Protect my children from harm. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

40 day devotional-day 13

Wise Advice from Mother Teresa
( because it was never between you and them )
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,you will win some false friends and some true enemies;Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,people may cheat you;Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building,someone could destroy overnight.Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,they may be jealous;Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,people will often forget tomorrow;Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,and it may never be enough;Give the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysisit is between you and God;it was never between you and them anyway.
This poem is engraved on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta.

I really needed to read this daily this week!

Todays Prayer: Lord, help me to be kind, forgiving, sucessful, honest, frank, to build, happy, good, and give the best I've got. Forgive me when I fail. Inevitibly, I will.

40 day devotional-day 12

The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish. Pope John Paul II

The most beautiful complement I ever received about one of my pregnancies was from a priest. When I told him I was pregnant he said: "How generous of you." Being open to life is generous. God loves to create and we are his co-creators. Amazing. My priest's compliment was in direct contrast to the negative comments from most everyone else. I am constantly shocked by how closed most people are to having more than two kids. I also find it sad that when someone who does have a bigger family announces "we're done." So that others will know they are being "responsible." When did we have to start making excuses for family size? When did we quit letting God plan and trusting that he would never give us more children than we could handle? The pervasive attitude in our society is that children are a financial drain. I was at an Autism fundraiser one time and we started going around the tables and introducing ourselves. When I announced I had four children one of the members said: "You're not having anymore kids, right?" It was as if I were somehow irresponsible for having a larger family since I had a child with a disability. I actually think that Willow is blessed to have brothers and sisters. She doesn't need "socialization" because there is a constant stream of kids coming and going from our house. Chris and I also get to experience a "typical" family life with our other children. It also teaches my "typical" children to be responsible for others and to respects those with special needs. It is Catholic social teaching in action. Life is always a gift, never a curse. My great Aunt had a daughter with Spina Bifida. This was years ago, when most families were choosing to put their children in homes (now many choose to abort.) My Aunt refused to put her daughter away. They told my Aunt and uncle their daughter would not even live until her fourth birthday. She lived well into her middle years and was an amazing person. She absolutely bloomed in my Aunt's care. My cousin was severely multi handicapped. My Aunt told me that they decided not to have anymore children so they could take care of my cousin. She did. Beautifully. What she underestimated was how hard it was going to be to take care of her in her older years. Her husband passed away and she did not have other children to help with her care. She was elderly and taking care of her was very, very hard but she did it. Eventually, her daughter died and she is alone now. When Willow was diagnosed she took me aside and told me to have as many children as I could. That she thought she was doing the right thing. Looking back, it would have been better for her to have siblings. That was the voice of experience talking and I listened. It truly was one of the best pieces of advice anyone has ever given me. I always tell people that Chris and I are so lucky because we will never be empty nesters. Some days are challenging but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Today's Prayer: Lord, please help families to embrace the gift of the Church's teachings on life and NFP. Help us to have the faith and understanding that you will never forsake us. Help me to remain open to life and your will. Amen.

40 day devotional-day 11

Sarah,

This prayer is for you. I love you. May God bless you abundantly with more children.

Blessings,

Tosha

Prayer to Our lady of La Leche for Another Child
Lovely Lady of La Leche, most loving mother of the Child Jesus, and my Mother, listen to my humble prayer. Your motherly heart knows my every wish, my every need. To you only, His spotless Virgin Mother, has your Divine Son given to understand the sentiments which fill my soul. Yours was the sacred privilege of being the Mother of the Saviour. Intercede with Him now, my loving Mother, that, in accordance with His will, I may become the mother of other children of our heavenly Father. This I ask, O Lady of La Leche, in the Name of your Divine Son, My Lord and Redeemer. Amen.

Today's Prayer: Lord, we pray for an end to abortion. We pray for all mothers to cherish and value life. We thank you for the precious treasures we have. We also pray for those trying to conceive that they be blessed with more children. Amen.