Miss Momma: Daily Lessons from my home

Managing Chaos: Part One

2012-01-07T05:34:00.000-08:00

We are sending up lots of prayers of discernment. It looks like we are moving...finally. I am praying about God's plan in all this. I am delivering my 5th child at any moment and my house is 3/4 of the way packed already. It is scary and exciting all at the same time! We are praying to get moved BEFORE I deliver but we will see God's plan. Right now we are focusing on the PRESENT MOMENT and using it as am opportunity to pare down once again. Which has been a very common theme on my blog lately:)

I will leave you with a few tips when moving:

1.) Pack up room but leave a few basics especially for kids. You never know if closing will be delayed and you don't want your toddler screaming for his favorite toys and books.

2.) Purge as you pack. I have a Catholic charities box and a Goodwill pile. DO NOT MOVE YOUR JUNK.

3.) If you have a friend or family member that you have been wanting to give kiddos clothes to invite them to pack. I had my sister in law come over and go through my closets and take what she wanted. She left with a new wardrobe and I had less to pack.

4.) Be specific when people come help to pack. I asked my SIL Kathy only to pack certain sizes. We put everything else in piles for people to go through before they left then gave the rest away!

5.) Definitely ask someone to help you pack who knows what they are doing. Chris' parents have moved with five kids many, many times. They were extremely organized and helpful. Don't know what we would do without them!!!!

AND DON'T FORGET TO PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!!

Efficacious Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

(A personal favorite prayer of St. Padre Pio)

I. O my Jesus, You said, "verily I say to you, ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you," behold I knock, I seek and I ask for the grace of....(state your intentions).

Pray 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary, and 1 Glory be

Sacred Heart of Jesus, I put all my trust in Thee.

II. O my Jesus, You said, "verily I say to you, whatsoever you shall ask the Father in My Name He will give it to you," behold in Your Name I ask the Father for the grace of ....(state your intentions).

Pray 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary, and 1 Glory be

Sacred Heart of Jesus, I put all my trust in Thee.

III. O my Jesus, You said, verily I say to you, "heaven and earth shall pass away, but My words shall not pass away," behold I encouraged by Your infallible words, now ask for the grace of ....(state your intentions).

Pray 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary, and 1 Glory be

Sacred Heart of Jesus, I put all my trust in Thee.

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, to Who one thing alone is impossible, namely, not to have compassion on the afflicted, have pity on us miserable sinners and grant us the grace which we ask of Thee, through the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, Your and our tender Mother.

Pray the Hail Holy Queen, and add:

St. Joseph, foster father of Jesus, pray for us.

INFANT OF PRAGUE NOVENA PRAYER

O Jesus, Who has said, "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened," through the intercession of Mary, Your Most Holy Mother, I knock, I seek, I ask that my prayer be granted.

(Make your request)

O Jesus, Who has said, "All that you ask of the Father in My Name, He will grant you," through the intercession of Mary Your Most Holy Mother, I humbly and urgently ask your Father in your name that my prayer will be granted.

(Make your request)

O Jesus, Who has said, "Heaven and earth shall pass away but My word shall not pass away," through the intercession of Mary Your Most Holy Mother, I feel confident that my prayer will be granted.

(Make your request)

PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING

Divine Infant Jesus, I know You love me and would never leave me. I thank You for Your close Presence in my life.

Miraculous Infant, I believe in Your promise of peace, blessings, and freedom from want. I place every need and care in Your hands.

Lord Jesus, may I always trust in Your generous mercy and love. I want to honor and praise You, now and forever. Amen.

My poor, neglected, blog:(

2011-12-28T21:09:00.000-08:00

I took an "online break" for a little while to focus on the kids and my home. I am also in my 33rd week of pregnancy and I have been doing some major nesting. I did a spin off of "40 bags in 40 days" from Faith and Family live. You know what I figured out? I have accumulated so much stuff over the past 11 years of parenting that it is sinful. There is nothing like having company over to press you into cleaning and de-cluttering. I used the month before my baby shower in November to purge. So here are my totals so far:

15 boxes to Catholic Charities

4 boxes to family

3 boxes to my daughter's therapy center

A trailer full and Suburban full to Goodwill AND...

A trailer full and Suburban full to THE DUMP. That was the most convicting part. Seriously. I had that much JUNK AND TRASH in my house. It was liberating but I'm not done. We are in the process of a possible move:( I am not moving most of this stuff with me. Why wait for Lent? I am posting some before and after pictures later. You would not believe...

"C" week

2011-09-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

C is for...

Eric Carle

and Saint Cecilia

Prayers to Saint Cecilia

We are going to be doing an activity from Little Cloud and doing the coloring pages from the Catholic Artworks CD. We are also going to be using coloring pages from Charlotte at Waltzing Matilda.

B is for busy!

2011-08-30T21:35:00.000-07:00

Alphabet Garden "Bb" week ideas:

B is for...

Saint Bernadette:

Saint Bernadette Biography

Tour of Lourdes

Saint Bernadette Coloring Page

Immaculate Conception Coloring Page from Waltzing Matilda (If you haven't joined scribed, I would highly recommend it.)

Blueberries:

Blueberry activities from Homeschool Share (This is an amazing resource!)

and...

Jan Brett (This is her official site and it is unbelievable:)

Update on Willow

2011-05-27T05:26:00.000-07:00

Life with Willow has its hazards. She is a mess. Literally. So, that being said, lets go back to the beginning (lets' go back to the very beginning...a very good place to start. Sorry. ADD. It happens sometimes. All the time...anyway). Several weeks ago Willow took the bulb out of her ceiling fan (that's another blog). We don't know the specifics but the end result was she shattered the bulb on the wood floor in her bedroom. We walked in the room and she was sitting on her bed covered in blood. I think she was as confused as we were. We finally saw the glass and realized that she must have cut her foot. This is where it gets complicated. The cut looked really clean and there wasn't anymore glass that was visible. So we put steri-strips on it and began the daunting task of keeping her out of it. Good luck. After the first week we noticed she still wasn't putting weight on it. She also started telling us "fix it." Looking back on it, there were other signs too: outbursts, crying, and aggression. Willow has a very sweet disposition and that is the one thing her Autism has not affected. We were stumped. This is a common problem in the Autism community but never with Willow. By the second week, no progress AND the foot started bleeding again. So I took her to the ER and we finally figured out what was wrong. We had missed 4-5 more pieces of glass in her foot. She had been walking around like that for two weeks and couldn't tell us! I wanted to crawl out of the ER. There was no way to remove it but surgically:( We had our pre-op the next day and surgery on Wednesday. I was there at 5:30am and I was joined by my fiercely loyal mother and a devoted OT of Willows. I couldn't have had better company. Her surgery was at St. Francis South and they were AMAZING. Willow did well going into the surgery but had a very difficult time in recovery. They got us out of the hospital ASAP and we were able to get her home and comfortable. There were two complicating factors; she threw up every time we gave her pain medicine and she wouldn't leave the surgical site alone. By two o'clock I had three red barf stains on my carpet and Willow had ripped out her stitches. We went to her Dr's office in the am and they put steri-strips on the incision and CASTED HER FOOT! She hates it but it is the biggest relief for us. It limits her mobility and she can't rip her stitches out again. Anyway, I have to go...I think I hear her cast thumping on her wood floor!

St. Joseph...pray for us!

2011-05-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

Oh...how quickly things change. It looks like we are staying. I am relieved. We have been here for fours years. It has provided us with some much needed stability. We are getting excited and we hope you pray for us. If you are not too busy, you can come and plant a Saint Joseph in our yard!

Alphabet Garden

2011-04-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Oh...how quickly things change. We just found out we are moving end of May. It is a huge blessing for our family. The end result is we have decided to bring everyone home, including our daughter with Autism. So, that being said, I am working on lesson plans that will suit our entire family. A very exciting prospect, indeed:) There is not much out there for kids on the spectrum. I feel like this is a calling. I hope it helps others...

"Aa" week ideas

2011-04-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

This week we will be starting on "Aa." I have tons of lesson plans and craft ideas I will be posting for each letter. I am very excited. I can't wait to get started with Landon. I am embracing educating him at home this year. Again, I want to thank Elizabeth Foss for her prolific contributions to Catholic home education.

A is for...
Apple-(Museum ABC, Eating the Alphabet, and A Picture of God 3in 1)
I am going to be cooking like crazy and I am planning on posting links to popular food blogs and sharing from my own cooking library.  There are obviously millions of craft ideas for this beloved fruit. I found some really cute ideas on this web page about using an apple cut in half to show the Trinity.

Also a scripture verse from Proverbs:
Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.
Proverbs 7:2
and
Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances.
Proverbs 25:11

Ant-(The Icky Bug Alphabet Book)
The ants are not a strong people, But they prepare their food in the summer
Proverbs 30:25

Amaryllis (The Flower Alphabet Book)
Want to buy bulbs and decorate pots with A! Also want to visit some local nurseries! I am planning on planting most of these flowers in my garden:)

Anne, Anthony, Angels (An Alphabet of Catholic Saints and old favorites)-
We ordered the Teach Me To Discover Saints CD from Catholic Artworks. I also saw a cute idea of having a St. Anthony treasure hunt.  I am going to make a list of "A" items and have Tiana help him find them. I am also starting to teach Landon the Guardian Angel prayer.

Angel of God,

my guardian dear,

To whom God's love commits me here,

Ever this day,

be at my side,

To light and guard,

Rule and guide.

Amen.

and Alter (A is for Alter, B is for Bible)
This book is based on the Catechises of the Good Shepard. Wanting to learn more.

You can also visit Waltzing Matilda for coloring pages!

Our author for the week will be Rev. W. Awdry. The creator of Thomas the Tank Engine. Landon is crazy about him. I suggest A. A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh) for an alternative author. Start gathering your "Aa" books and I will see you here!

The Alphabet Garden: Where Faith and Learning Bloom

2011-03-22T16:13:00.000-07:00

Painting by Monica Arrache

I will start "A" week next week. I am starting earlier than most (many start in August) because I obviously am going to need to show you the craft ideas and lesson plans:) Each week in the Alphabet Garden I will have a letter, fruit or vegetable, flower, and a strong emphasis on Catholic religious formation. The main reason I am developing this is to give my young son a simple but through Catechism and to foster a love of learning. I will eventually have a tutorial and recommended book list for each week. Please be patient while I build the curriculum. I have four young children and a daughter with special needs. Elizabeth Foss' Alphabet Path is brilliant and inspired. I am not interested in reinventing the wheel. At all. She divides her books into three categories: faith stories, childhood favorites, and storybook science. Why mess with perfection? There will also be a scripture memory verse and recommended prayers. Here it is. Be blessed...

Alphabet Garden Essentials:
Eating the Alphabet: Fruits and Vegetables from A-Z by Lois Ehlert-I am planning on cooking from every letter! I have some really great recipes and ideas!
The Flower Alphabet Book by Jerry Pallotta-I am going to plant a Marian Garden this year using most of these:)
A is for Alter, B is for Bible by Judith Lang Main (based on the Catechises of the Good Shepard)
An Alphabet of Catholic Saints by Brenda and George Nippert
I also bought their Teach Me to Discover The Saints CD and the An Alphabet of Catholic Saints Poster
Museum ABC by the Metropolitan Museam of Art
An Alphabet of Saints by Robert Hugh Benson (optional but helpful)
A Picture of God (a great book on the Trinity!)

Also recommended:
Handwriting without tears
Guiding your Catholic Preschooler by Cathy Pierce and Lori Rowland
Catholic Children's Treasurebox
Catholic Mosaic: Living the Liturgical Year with Literature by Cay Gibson
The Big Book of Catholic Customs and Traditions
Holy Days and Holidays: Prayer Celebrations with Children by Gaynell Bordes Cronin

The Simple Woman's Daybook

2011-01-31T14:33:00.000-08:00

This amazing idea is from the blog The Simple Woman. Please join us if you can...

FOR TODAY January 31, 2011...

Outside My Window...
The sky is cloudy and we are waiting for snow. Praying for "snow days" for my little ones.

I am thinking...
about how my life has been transformed over the last several months. I am so very, very grateful.

I am thankful for...
my incredible husband and the gift of my children.

From the learning rooms...
We are behind on our lessons but I am really happy with the learning enviornment here. Krystiana got the Harry Potter series for Christmas. She finished all seven in a month and still got her lessons done. Amazing...

From the kitchen...
I have accepted the fact that our family really doesn't like fancy, complicated meals. That's okay. It's saving me time and money. I have lost 27 pounds so lean protein, fruits, and vegetables work for me too.

I am wearing...
Jeans and a grey ribbed turtleneck from Coldwater Creek. They were a gift from Chris on my birthday:)

I am ~~trying to create~~ creating...
a relaxed, clean enviornment in the home.

I am going...
to get rid of the clutter and all of this extra "stuff." It is driving me (and my type A husband) crazy. Simplify, simplify, simplify.

I am reading...
about Clean Eating, working out, and the transforming power of self-discipline.

I am hoping...
to inspire others with my life. I will be posting before and after pictures in a few months.

I am listening to...
Joel Osteen's Podcasts and upbeat music for my workouts.

Around the house...
Bags to give away and constant discernment about what we really need. How did we accumulate all of this?

One of my favorite things...
The sound of my children running to the door and my husband yelling "Daddy's home!" A close second are the words: "I can work from home today if you need me to."

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
Hunkering down at home. It is supposed to snow and Willow still isn't feeling well. It will be good for everyone to have some family time. Chris and I grew up in the Northern part of the country. We both love being snowed in:)

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Why I love snow days. Landon was stck in the swing. It took Chris, my Mom, and I to get him out...

The best spaghetti sauce, ever!

2011-01-30T20:03:00.001-08:00

Personalize your own recipe card

Pearls of wisdom

2011-01-25T05:30:00.000-08:00

Recently, I have developed a habit of waking up early. It has changed my life. Really. Being able to fit exercise, prayer and reading into my day has made me happier than I have ever been. The only problem is trying to be quiet so I don't wake up the rest of the house. Which would be counter-productive:( I started downloading pastor Joel Osteen's podcasts and listening to them first thing in the morning on my ipod. He is so amazingly positive that it is the perfect way to start my day! I am taking notes and letting his sermons guide my Bible study for the week. This week he spoke about "developing your pearls." In short, he said that oysters form pearls from a piece of sand...an irritant. He went on to explain that irritants in your life are allowed by God to form character or pearls. He said that if there is something that you are praying about and it does not change, God has put it there for your benefit. Suffering forms spiritual "pearls" or character. Pastor Osteen said, "It is not where you are but what you are that matters." It is what defines you as a Christian. Sometimes you hear something from God that you know is just said for you. He quoted a passage by the apostle Paul on suffering. After the podcast ended, I wished he would have given the chapter and verse. I was looking over my notes and decided to open my Bible. If anyone has ever done Lectio Divina you know it can be powerful. I still have my drivers licence that I got 16 years ago when I got married. Tosha Michell Schiffli. I was so proud of my new name I ran right out to get my new licence. I keep it out and look at it to remind myself of the blessing of my marriage. I let Landon play with it the night before and he had placed it in my Bible. So I naturally opened it up to that place. ~~Landon~~ God had marked the place of Paul's quote that was in the sermon that morning! It was Romans 8:18-19.

I consider that the sufferings of the present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be reveled for us."

I looked at my licence and at my smiling naive face. I thought about how different things turned out than I had planned. I thought about God's plan and all of the trials of our 16 year relationship. I thanked God for all of them and how grateful I was that I was not that girl anymore. Thank you Jesus...for all of my pearls.

Joy comes in the morning

2011-01-20T06:32:00.000-08:00

Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

For years, I have been praying about how I could pack everything I wanted to into my day. I read every book I could get my hands on about managing my home. Fly Lady, Managers of their homes, Motivated Moms...you get the point. Read them all. Every. Single. One. I would do good for a while but ultimately ~~it was a total failure~~ it did not work for my hectic household. I found Godly council in many of those books but none were written for an Orthodox Catholic Homeschooling/ Public School family with kids on the Autism spectrum with an ADD Mom and an OCD Dad (who is going crazy in this mess). Does such a book exist? If it does...could someone please tell me where I could get it? Landon started coming downstairs between four and five am and crawling into bed with us about a month ago. He kicks and turns like Bruce Lee. It took me five minutes to get out of bed. This rude awakening turned into an epiphany of sorts. There really isn't much to do around here at four am. So I started my day with prayer and scripture. Then I noticed the dishes...and I could throw in some laundry...and I could go for a quick walk on the treadmill. By seven o'clock in the morning I was ready and prepared to start my day. My body started waking me up early and I was wide awake by five. I have already lost 18 pounds! The lesson here is I was looking to others for inspiration and what I needed was to go to the source for answers. God gave me the answer to my prayers in the early hours of the morning. All I had to do was meet him there.

New Years Resolution

2011-01-02T15:36:00.000-08:00

Have nothing in your home that you do not find to be useful or beautiful.

William Morris

This year my resolution is to simplify. Especailly in my home. I am tackling clutter in order to have more time for my family. I know someone who has a problem with hoarding. I have seen firsthand what happens when "stuff" takes over your life. It seems like lately all I do is ~~clean~~ manage my things. Chris is on board and we already have started boxing things up! It feels great. I am initially planning on doing "40 bags in 40 days" like many have done during Lent. I know if I don't tackle it while we are both motivated it will never get done. Please join me and link to your blog to show your progress:) If you don't have a blog, e-mail me and I will post your pics. Good luck!

Christmas exchange!

2010-12-15T07:42:00.000-08:00

Chris and Dan at my daughter's fourth birthday;)

I sat down at the computer this morning. I found this e-mail from my brother-in-law! This is exactly why I love my family. It reads...

For those of you that where not at the elder Schiffli house on Sunday, or have a memory of a gnat (I include myself in that group), here are the rules for the exchange.

1. NO GIFT CARDS!

2. Gift must have an approximate value of $30.00 US (Unless the family you drew starts with the letter O, then feel free to spend upwards of that number).

3. They are to be “Family” gifts, so no baby-sitting.

4. No crappy gifts (If a gift is determined to be “crappy”, the receiver of said crappy gift has the right to exchange crappy gift for the gift received by the giver of the crappy gift).

5. The gift has to be creative.

6. The gift may not be wrapped in traditional wrapping or in a traditional gift bag.

• Any addition, deletion or amendment to the gift exchange rules, must be done with a two-thirds majority vote.

• Voting members include adult members the immediate Schiffli family.

• Immediate Schiffli family members include Chuck and Judy Schiffli, their adult children and the children’s significant others.

• “Significant other” is defined as spouse (i.e. Husband or Wife), girlfriend or boyfriend.

• Girlfriend and/or boyfriend shall be confirmed via Facebook status.

• Facebook is a registered trademark of Facebook Inc.

You gotta live by rules and these are them!

Devotion

2010-12-11T07:11:00.000-08:00

Do you see this picture? It is a photo of my husband sleeping after he was up all night with Willow. It is a picture of devotion. He let me sleep and took care of her from 2:30am on. She still hasn't gone back to sleep:( I am praying for peaceful dreams and some much needed rest this am. Meanwhile I am doing this challenge. Hope to see you all there.

Sabbatical

2010-12-06T12:09:00.000-08:00

I took a break from blogging because things got a little crazy. Good crazy. I also thought I would try Typepad. Didn't work. At all. Too complicated. So, I'm back and committing to frequent posting. Looking forward to catching you up with things.

Inspiration strikes via the Pioneer Woman

2010-10-02T14:41:00.000-07:00

I love books. It is something that I inherited from my mother(besides my hips). She fostered my love of learning from a young age. She says she even read to me in the womb. I believe her. My friends keep telling me to look into a Kindle. My husband keeps hinting. My bookshelves are packed to the gills. I can honestly tell you I will probibly never buy one. There is something amazing about thumbing through the pages of a book. I love everything about it: the pages beween my fingers, the photos, even the SMELL of the book. It is almost spiritual for me. Yes, I know I'm weird. Recently, all of the time at home has been taking its's toll. It sounds so cliche but I started to reevaluate my life. I ordered a bunch of books to fulfill my book club obligations and thought it would help ease the boredom of being stuck in the house all of the time. I love my children and wouldn't have it any other way but really? That being said, I received some new books this week. Something happened to me that hasn't happened in a long, long time. I was INSPIRED. The Pioneer Woman is one of the most popular blogs in the country. I have visited her blog before, but very infrequently. I just didn't have anything in common with her. She lives in Oklahoma and she Homeschools. That's about as far as the comparison goes. So it would seem. Well, I just bought her cookbook. I really love it. So what is so inspiring about a rancher's wife and a cookbook? She lives in the middle of nowhere and talks incessantly about being ISOLATED and the things that she does to cope. When she chose to raise her family in a rural area she had to come up with new and inventive ways to be creative. She learned how to cook and took up photography. She is amazing at it. Even though Ree Drummond lives on a working Ranch out in the middle of nowhere we really are met with similar circumstances. I can't depend on the typical woman in South Tulsa's sole source of entertainment: the gym, shopping and gourmet restaurants. Oh, and don't forget a packed social calendar and team sports for their kids. If you don't live here, yes, I am being serious. I have a daughter with a disability with severe sensory issues. I can count the number of times we have been out to eat since her Autism diagnosis on one hand. She hates it and it stresses me out! So, the direction of my blog is changing. I am focusing on fostering creativity in the homes of women like myself. Women who are isolated, for whatever circumstances, in their home and are trying to be creative with time and money restraints. So ladies...let's regain our sanity AND our creativity. Let's blog, baby;-)

Hearts at Home Daybook

2010-09-08T04:50:00.000-07:00

Outside my window: It is almost dawn. My family is still sleeping. Trying to get a jump start on my day:)

I am listening to: the hum of my washing machine.

I am wearing : Pajama pants, the shirt I wore yesterday, and an apron. Sexy.

I am thankful for: my husband. He worked through the night last night. Went to bed at 5am when I woke up. He works hard so I can stay home. I love my life.

I am reading: Hinds Feet in High Places this week. Finished it in one night. Chris and Tiana have a tradition started. He is reading Hannah Hunnard's series to her every night at bedtime. they are almost finished with Mountains of Spices. I have been ousted. The books are having a profound effect on both of them. My husband doesn't read...I am ecstatic!

From the kitchen: my cabinets are bare. Not much cooking going on here. Looking through cookbooks and planning menus.

I am thinking: about the economy, our country, and my children's future. I am pretty much trying to get as knowledgeable as I can about conservatism. What is going on right now in our country is scary. Government expanse and massive debting. It is going to negatively impact our children for generations. It has GOT TO STOP!

I am creating: an enriching environment for my family.

On my iPod:Allison Krause.

Towards a real education: trying to keep up with Seton. Tiana loves teaching textbooks and Math is her favorite subject. Love it. I love Homeschooling. I wish everybody would do this with their kids.

I am hoping and praying: for my family.

In the garden: weeds. Lots of them...

Around the House: putting out fires. Still can't get a handle on all of this stuff.

On keeping home: fantasizing about being able to get help in the home someday. Ahhhh...

One of my favorite things: Landon snuggled next to me in the morning. He is spoiled rotten and I don't care.

A few plans for the rest of the week: catching up. With everything.

A picture thought I’m sharing:

She was so little then. What happened?

What we are using II

2010-08-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

How quickly things change. We are still using teaching textbooks but we are using Seton:) We decided we needed more structure and support. It should be here any day. I was ~~completely overwhelemed~~ struggling with structure in the home before we even started. I can't wait to post pictures of the excitement on her face when her box gets here!

What we are using...

2010-08-12T15:24:00.000-07:00

Krystiana and I are starting our first year of Homeschooling. I am seeking the help of one of Tiana's old teachers to help me with my lesson plans. I have my curriculum but don't have any set plans yet:(

Math: Teaching Textbooks
History: Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer
Science: Apologia Botany, Handbook of Nature Study, and The Outdoor Hour.
Writing: Institute for Excellence in Writing Teaching/Writing student intensive combo
Spelling/Phonics: Phonetic Zoo
Religion: The Baltimore Catechism, The Bible, Fisheaters.com, and various books on the Saints.
Geography: Maps, Globes, and Google University;-)
Literature: Following the Real Learning Booklist.

Good Advice

2010-08-12T14:56:00.000-07:00

I found this prayer on Elizabeth Foss' website. You have no idea how bad I needed this. If only I could have started my day with it! It has been a tumultuous first week of school. I am wiped out from being on an emotional roller coaster. I hope this helps you as much as it helped me:)

Daily Prayer

O Lord, grant that with Your peace I may greet all that this day is to bring. Grant me grace to surrender myself completely to Your Holy Will. In every hour of this day instruct me and guide me in all things. Teach me to accept tranquilly whatever tidings I may receive during this day, in the firm belief that Your Holy Will governs all. Govern my thoughts and feelings in all that I do and say. When unforeseen things occur, let me not forget that all is sent by You. Teach me to behave sincerely and reasonably toward everyone, so that I may bring confusion and sorrow to no one. Bestow on me, O Lord, strength to endure the fatigue of the day and to bear my part in its events. Guide my will and teach me to pray, to believe, to suffer, to forgive and to love. Amen. ~St. John Kronstadt

A Break...

2010-07-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

I have been limiting my Internet time lately. Willow is going through a "growth spurt." I have learned (the hard way) you have to seize these limited times of neurological growth and be really aggressive. I am as spending as much time with her as possible and we have increased her private therapy to 5 hours a week. The biggest gain recently is she is not having as many sensory issues and OCD like habits. If everything was not "just right" she would scream bloody murder:-( She was also very, very destructive. Exhausting. All of the sudden, it just quit being so obsessively important to her. Her habits were getting pretty bad and it made going anywhere with her difficult: fans on, doors shut, lights on, and don't drain the tub! It made home difficult too. Her growth spurts are usually preceded by a time of regression that is almost unbearable. It makes taking care of her more than a full time job that does not include my housework. Truthfully, during these times I wish I could afford to have help in the home. Because my other kids get completely ignored. Right now, I have time to spend with my other children. I am also able to nurture their relationship with Willow in a way that is impossible when she is having severe sensory issues. Time is a very rare commodity around here. We are reading, playing outside, and visiting friends. The kinds of things other families get to do and (usually) take them for granted. I don't know how long it will be like this. My children are blooming. We are going through a time of great blessing right now and I don't want to miss a single moment. I am taking a cue from this woman and embracing my life. This fall, Krystiana is starting her Homeschooling journey and I am planning on sharing and exchanging ideas. Until then, I am enjoying my time with my family and friends:-)

First Communion

2010-06-23T15:23:00.000-07:00

My daughter Willow will receive her First Holy Communion this month. It would be impossible for me to express what this milestone means to our family. I have spent most of her eight years on earth on my knees. She has blessed me so much. I know that God sent her to me for my salvation. I have been so busy preparing that blogging has fallen to the bottom of my "to do" list. My absence from the Internet does not mean my life is not bearing fruit. In fact, it has been the opposite. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am living exactly how the Lord wants me to. Which is totally open to his will. That is not to say that I do not struggle daily with my responsibilities. I have just figured out that if I put God first life goes much smoother. My husband and I have lived through the past 15 years of trials and we are still standing. I am doing alot of purging right now. I am getting rid of the emotional, physical, and spiritual clutter in my life. It is taking awhile. This "new growth" has not come without a substantial amount of pain. I feel like a rosebush that has been cut back severely, in order to bloom more beautifully. The cutting hurt. I went through infertility, sickness, financial problems, and Willow's Autism diagnosis just to name just a few. Right now, I feel like I am blooming. Psalm 1:3 says:

But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in his law doth he meditate day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.

I am planted firmly by my Willow and we are drinking from that stream. Our family is bearing fruit and prospering. I am so, so grateful. Thank you Lord, for my Willow who helped me grow by You.

Litany of Humility

2010-06-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...

From the desire of being extolled ...

From the desire of being honored ...

From the desire of being praised ...

From the desire of being preferred to others...

From the desire of being consulted ...

From the desire of being approved ...

From the fear of being humiliated ...

From the fear of being despised...

From the fear of suffering rebukes ...

From the fear of being calumniated ...

From the fear of being forgotten ...

From the fear of being ridiculed ...

From the fear of being wronged ...

From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Day 36-Ecumenism

2010-06-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

If you are true to your faith, there are things you give up for your faith-Amish Proverb

When I was in elementary school my class took a trip to Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. That one trip, started a life long fascination with the Amish. I could go on for days but I think the thing I admire most is their simplicity. I think that their lifestyles resemble the way God intended our life on earth to be like. I think modern life is out of control; we are educated but ignorant, we have money but we are poor (materialism, debt), we are religious but unchristian, we have children and not families. Obviously, I am an Orthodox Catholic. That does not mean that I am opposed to other faiths. I don't limit my friendships and mentors to women who are Catholic and I am grateful they didn't do that either. On the contrary, I am shaped by other Christian faiths and admire many of their beautiful traditions. That does not mean I am not in love with mine. I am also grounded and properly catechised enough that I am able to discern what to take and what to leave. It is a short list and begins and ends with judmentalism which is the root of many sins. My friend Julie who is part of the fundamentalist "full quiver" movement has given me some amazing advice. I choose to focus on what we have in common and not what's different and I am blessed by it. Their view of life issues and an emphasis on the traditional family is a common thread. I also think that talking to people from other faiths can challenge you to define your own convictions. It helps you to discern what you believe and why you believe it. Which leads me to one of the things I most admire about the Amish. Although many have been drawn to the simple lives of the "plain people" they do not encourage converting. I find their lack of egocentricity refreshing. Their thought provoking response is this:

"If you admire our faith, strengthen yours. If you admire our sense of commitment, deepen yours. If you admire our community spirit, build your own. If you admire the simple life, cut back. If you admire deep character and enduring values, live them yourself."

That is good, solid advice. One only has to turn on the television (if you must) to see the negative impact radicalism in any form has done to our world. It is just my opinion but I believe it is not your denomination but how you live that make you a Christian. We are supposed to imitate Christ who lived a simple, loving life while here on earth. Living sacrificially and raising Godly children is the ultimate testimony. Your family's faith and it's traditions are the best gift you can give your child. It is a gift that our family gave to us and the same one we are planning to give to our kids.

Day 35-God's Blessings

2010-06-04T07:37:00.000-07:00

He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!

Psalms 113:9

Yes, he does. I was just remembering the other day how badly I wanted children. I have run across so many quotes in scripture about the blessing of children and bringing them up to love the Lord. I don't know how people just don't want a dozen of them. I would love it. My children are all at an age where all of our "training" is bearing fruit and I love spending time educating them in their faith. I just about have all of their homeschool curriculum and I am SO EXCITED!!!! That being said, I have been spending less time on-line per my husbands request. Sorry for the lack of updates but priorities, you know. Things are still going great around here. There is a beautiful rhythm in our home now which I LOVE. I have continued with my Proverbs study. I think it is one of the best things I have done spiritually for myself in a long, long time. I pray before I open my Bible and ask God to bless me with Wisdom through his word. I also pray for Him to answer specific things that are weighing on my heart. It is blessing me in a profound way. I am planning on continuing this throughout my life and teaching the kids my favorite passages. Alex, especially, has been open to learning scripture and I want to foster that. I believe scripture meditation and memorization are essential to having a strong spiritual life. I found these great scripture cards for the kids at Bibliomania. We have been going over them a little at dinner. One of the first ones I opened was this favorite scripture of mine:

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all of your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3: 5, 6.

Hope your day is blessed:-)

Day 31-Abundance

2010-06-01T07:16:00.000-07:00

When Landon gets tired his favorite word is "No!" He will argue with EVERYTHING you say. My life is in a very, very good place right now. My marriage is great, my house is in order, and my kids have never been better. I think it is because I have my priorities straight and He has lightened my load (Matt. 11:29, 30.) So when he was screaming at the top of his lungs last night, I was able to be patient. It still wasn't enough. He was still upset. Then, he did the strangest thing. He stop crying looked at me and said: "I want to pray the Rosary." He climbed up in my bed and laid next to me and waited patiently for me to begin. I started to pray and he calmly fell asleep with in ten minutes. It is little sacred moments like this that I know He is there with me. I have never felt so much peace. I read the first chapter of Proverbs today the verse that struck me the most was:

Listen my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. they shall be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9

When I watched him sleep last night thoughts of what his future would be like ran through my head. I thought of all of my hopes and dreams for him. Oh, I hope he loves Him. I hope he is blessed and serves the Lord. I hope he lives a long and fruitful life. I hope he finds a wife that loves him and fears the Lord. I hope he has the gift of many children to love him and take care of him when he is old. I hope and I pray...Hail Mary, full of grace...

Day 28...Amazing!

2010-05-28T12:01:00.000-07:00

I have been sticking to the new format of reading from Proverbs every day. I has been a very convicting but fruitful experience. The Lord has put several things on my heart lately. I feel the most important is a new search for true Wisdom. I am experiencing a reformation that is beautiful but also a little uncomfortable. Spiritual growth always is. I am not wanting to leave my faith but evangelize within it through my Domestic Church. It is a desire for Orthodoxy and simplification in my life. That is the uncomfortable part; Catholics can be a lethargic lot. I am already experiencing friction. I think that when you have been given a gift it is hard to see its value. We live in a society that moral relativism is rampant. I am picking the "board out of my own eye" when I tell you I have succumbed on many, many occasions. I am at a crossroads in my life and it is about to change in a way that is beyond words. I am bringing my children home in order to prepare them for Heaven. The task seems enormous but I know that it is God's will. I am prepared for spiritual warfare because I know that anytime you prepared to put Him first the enemy is there to try and spoil your plans. I call it the five D's: doubt, discouragement, diversion, defeat, and delay. Right on cue the doorbell just rang. It is my new curriculum. God's timing is perfect!

Proverbs 28:8 He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is safe.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Prayer: Lord help me to not conform to this world. Help me to look to you for what is right and keep Your Commandments. Give me Wisdom to raise my children and prepare them for eternity with You. Amen.

Family Picture

2010-05-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, my husband wrote me in order to gently call my attention to my picture. I have started getting up at 5am in order to pack everything into my day that I need to. Obviously, this wasn't the right one! It cracked me up so bad that I am posting it here. Ah, motherhood!

Day 27-What I'm contemplating

2010-05-27T05:36:00.000-07:00

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

So are the children of one's youth.

How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;

They will not be ashamed

When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127:3, 4, 5

NASB

I spoke to an old friend the other day. I sponsored her through RCIA and it has been years since we have talked. She is doing amazing but things have changed a little. She has six beautiful daughters and is part of the fundamentalist "quiver full movement." I think that this is probably the only protestant church that I agree with most of what they are saying. It is the same faith as the Duggars. When the liberal press describes this religion it says "they are more Catholic than Catholics." They are completely open to life, Biblically based, and many opt to Homeschool their children. They have very similar convictions to a small number of Orthodox Catholics left in our Church (92% of Catholic women are on the pill or have preformed some type of permanent sterilization). I have looked up several of their sights and I am planning on using some of their tools for homeschooling. One of the things that I loved was called "Wisdom Searching" scripture meditation. I downloaded the e-book and I am using it as a guide. I also loved Managers of Their Homes. I already started my own version (see the sidebar). Wish me luck. I started today and I got up at 5:00 am. The messages from Medjugorje speak of Wisdom from the Bible. Our Lady of Peace says that we should be reading the Bible every day. This is my next habit I will be working on. I want to start a daily scripture meditation and Bible Study. I am working on character values for the children. They are doing so well, especially Alex. I can feel God leading us to the "Narrow Path." It is a difficult but Grace filled journey.

40 day devotional-Day 24-What happend?

2010-05-24T11:18:00.000-07:00

So sorry! I have dropped the ball! I hope you have been continuing with your own prayers and scripture study. I have developed some (hopefully) lifelong habits over the past several weeks. I hope it has helped you as much as it has helped me. I appreciate all of your prayers. We have been crazy busy. Kids are finishing school and I am prepping for summer. I am on a whirlwind cleaning spree here in my home. Last night I darted off to the ER with Landon. He busted his chin on the tub for the second time! We did manage to get in a great afternoon with the kids. We bought Willow a little pool to pass the summer with. It was freezing cold but she stayed in for three hours! Her brothers and sisters all ditched on her:-( The summer is our scariest time of the year. Willow stands at the door with her swimsuit and life vest on saying: "go see summer swimmy." If we let her, she would wander the neighborhood looking for pools. We have to watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesn't run off. Please, please pray that she stays close and she will quit running.

Prayer: Lord, please keep everyone safe this summer. Send your Guardian Angels to watch all of your precious little ones. Help us to make the most of our time with our children and utilize our resources well. Amen

Day 19-Giving Thanks.

2010-05-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

This week I have so much to be thankful for. My family is settling into what is our kind of normal. All of the kids had an AMAZING week. Tiana won third out of the entire fourth grade for her art. Alex is having more "superstar" days than bad days and Lannie is just, well, adorable. Did I mention spoiled? Willow is doing so much better:-) I am actively planning our summer activities and I am really excited. We were able to get in a little extra therapy and I can tell it is already paying off. I am blessed to have such incredible people working with her. I am also thankful for the many prayers being offered up for my family. I can feel them. Many, many, thanks for all of you who are praying. I love you. You don't know how much.

40 day devotional-Day 18

2010-05-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, I found this new blog and it ROCKS! She did 30 days of prayers for Autism awareness month in April. Short, sweet, to the point. I am changing my format to not be so "wordy." Laughs! Through her blog I also found TONS of other bloggers with special needs kids. Truly inspirational and amazing people. The thing that inspired me the most is there are literally thousands of people out there walking this same road with me. I am not alone even when I am stuck at home when I am too tired or afraid to venture out. They get what I am saying. The Internet is full of junk but it can be such a blessing if you know where to look. Recently, I wrote about how Willow's destructiveness guards me against materialism.

"Liberality-Okay, if you are not a follower of my blog, you will get the condensed version. We are broke. Literally gave up everything so that my daughter would have even the slimmest chance at a good quality of life. I really could care less what we have or if it gets broken. I am not the least bit attached to anything but my DH and kids. Most people say they aren't materialistic but you should see the way they chase my daughter around so she won't break anything."

I got a well intentioned (anonymous) comment by someone who obviously does not live with Autism, or me, about why some people chase my daughter around. I deleted it. They don't get it, at all. This person does. This article touched me so deeply. I can't begin to tell you. She talks about things being "broken" and how God sees them whole, perfect. The Great Healer. I pray that today, that we find a cure for Autism. I pray that someday my daughter can look at me and talk. That she can can get married, have children, become a nun...or whatever she wants. More than anything I pray that if God chooses not to heal her that he give me the wisdom to care for her and teach her. I also pray that God surrounds her with loving people that are kind...and tolerant (Matthew 25:31-46).

40 Day Devotional-Day 17-Trials

2010-05-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

Sirach Chapter 2:1-18
My son, when you come to serve the LORD, prepare yourself for trials.
Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity.

Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great.
Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient;
For in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation.
Trust God and he will help you; make straight your ways and hope in him.
You who fear the LORD, wait for his mercy, turn not away lest you fall.
You who fear the LORD, trust him, and your reward will not be lost.
You who fear the LORD, hope for good things, for lasting joy and mercy.
Study the generations long past and understand; has anyone hoped in the LORD and been disappointed? Has anyone persevered in his fear and been forsaken? has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed?
Compassionate and merciful is the LORD; he forgives sins, he saves in time of trouble.
Woe to craven hearts and drooping hands, to the sinner who treads a double path!
Woe to the faint of heart who trust not, who therefore will have no shelter!
Woe to you who have lost hope! what will you do at the visitation of the LORD?
Those who fear the LORD disobey not his words; those who love him keep his ways.
Those who fear the LORD seek to please him, those who love him are filled with his law.
Those who fear the LORD prepare their hearts and humble themselves before him.
Let us fall into the hands of the LORD and not into the hands of men, For equal to his majesty is the mercy that he shows.

“Whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.” James 1:2-4

I really had no idea how strong I could be until I had children. It has shaped me in the most beautiful, unbelievable way. I have spent countless hours on my knees and have seen God working in my life and my constant companion. We have experienced trials in some form or another during most of our 15 year relationship. That does not mean my life is without joy. Far from it. We are happier than most of the people we know because we do not take anything for granted anymore. That includes each other. Autism and all of its challanges has changed my life in such a positve way. This sounds ironic but I feel sorry for people that only have typical children. Adversity changes lives. The part that is more ironic is that they feel sorry for me. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about the funny things people say about parenting a child with Autism. She has two sons and they are both on the spectrum. Our kids go to school together and we have become close. One of the things that she finds the most laughable, is the notion that she has some inherent quality that made her more equipped to handle two kids on the spectrum. We hear this ALL THE TIME: "I don't know how you do it. I would just go crazy" or "God only chooses special people to raise special needs kids." That is also known as a "back handed compliment." Think about the true meaning of those statements. It is a charming notion but anybody that knows me know I am far from a super parent. What we both agreed on, was that it was really about rising to meet the challenge because we love our kids. I am also very, very stubborn. I just flat out refuse to quit or give up. I really don't want people to look at me as the parenting worst-case-scenario. It could be worse...we could be the Schiffli's. God has no testimony in me if I fail. I love the Lord and want to glorify Him so I work very, very hard to raise Godly children and have a good marriage. So I guess if stubbornness is a good quality for parenting a child with Autism, God picked the right family. I am also very aware that most people do look at raising any special needs child as burdensome, not the true blessing that it is. That said, I have learned not to take what others have to say too seriously. Comments are usually well-intentioned and said in the hopes of being beneficial.

Todays Prayer: Lord, help me to be a testimony to you through my life and the lives of my children. Help me to be a good wife and mother so I can honor You in my vocation. Amen.

40 Day Devotional-Day 16

2010-05-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

We went out last week with some friends and we got on the topic of marriage. They commented how lucky I was that I married the right person. Chris was sitting right next to me and blurted out: "It's not luck, it's hard work!" He is so incredibly right! We have worked very, very hard to make our marriage the way it is. We are in our 15th year and I am just starting to feel really comfortable. I definitely think our "secret weapon" is the fact we both feel so strongly about our faith. It sustains us. We are getting to an age that we are witnessing, more frequently, marriages falling apart. I have been praying for the words to help advise my friends and family when they are having problems. I found a few quotes that reflect my thinking and values. I'd like to share them.

Marriage is not about marrying the right person but being the right person.

People think they have to find their soulmate to have a good marriage. You're not going to "find" your soulmate. Anyone you meet already has soulmates. Their mother. Their father. Their lifelong friends. You get married, and after 20 years of loving,bearing and raising children, meeting challenges - then you'll have "created" your soulmate.-- Diane Sollee

I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.-- Zig Ziglar

People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on "being in love" for ever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are entitled to a change -not realizing that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one. In this department of life, as in every other, thrills come at the beginning and do not last... but if you go through with it, the dying away of the first thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. - CS Lewis

Colossians 3:12-19
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Today's Prayer: Lord, thank you for the blessing of my spouse. Help me to be as loving and forgiving to them, as you have been to me.

40 Day Devotional-Day 15-Love

2010-05-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

It has been a difficult week but I have learned so, so much. So I am contemplating this...

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:1-1

and this...

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Today's Prayer: Lord, may I so live the life of love this day that all those with whom I have anything to do with may be as sure of love in the world as they are of the sunlight. Anonymous.

40 Day Devotional-Day 14-Courage

2010-05-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."Proverbs 3:5-6

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."Proverbs 16:3

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."Hebrew 11:1

The simple message today is be unique. Be yourself. God created you to do something amazing. You are the only one that can do it. The only way that you can accomplish it is to remain steadfast in your faith and keep your eyes on Him. It is so easy in this day in age to get DISTRACTED. Don't look at other people and what they are doing with their life! That is not your path. Don't listen to negative talk or criticism. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "You are doing what?" I have learned not to take it personal and go on. You don't have to explain yourself to everyone. Chris and I are in the unique position of being the parents of a child with Autism. We learned very quickly that sometimes the professionals don't have all of the answers. It has definately helped us to 'think outside the box.' We have learned to rely on God and trust our instincts. It has served us very well. There is a 90% divorce rate for parents of special needs kids. We are still together and very in love after 15 years. We have four amazing children and a network of friends and family that we are very, very blessed to have. God always provides for our needs and we just don't worry anymore. We know we are doing what God intended us to do. We are supposed to be making Saints.

Today's Prayer: Lord, help me to remain steadfast in my faith. Help me to resist the temptation to look at others as my yardstick. Help me only to look at you. Help me not to covet or envy. Also, help me to 'train up my child' so I can watch my children grow in their faith. Protect my children from harm. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

40 day devotional-day 13

2010-05-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

Wise Advice from Mother Teresa
( because it was never between you and them )
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,you will win some false friends and some true enemies;Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,people may cheat you;Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building,someone could destroy overnight.Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,they may be jealous;Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,people will often forget tomorrow;Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,and it may never be enough;Give the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysisit is between you and God;it was never between you and them anyway.
This poem is engraved on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta.

I really needed to read this daily this week!

Todays Prayer: Lord, help me to be kind, forgiving, sucessful, honest, frank, to build, happy, good, and give the best I've got. Forgive me when I fail. Inevitibly, I will.

40 day devotional-day 12

2010-05-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish. Pope John Paul II

The most beautiful complement I ever received about one of my pregnancies was from a priest. When I told him I was pregnant he said: "How generous of you." Being open to life is generous. God loves to create and we are his co-creators. Amazing. My priest's compliment was in direct contrast to the negative comments from most everyone else. I am constantly shocked by how closed most people are to having more than two kids. I also find it sad that when someone who does have a bigger family announces "we're done." So that others will know they are being "responsible." When did we have to start making excuses for family size? When did we quit letting God plan and trusting that he would never give us more children than we could handle? The pervasive attitude in our society is that children are a financial drain. I was at an Autism fundraiser one time and we started going around the tables and introducing ourselves. When I announced I had four children one of the members said: "You're not having anymore kids, right?" It was as if I were somehow irresponsible for having a larger family since I had a child with a disability. I actually think that Willow is blessed to have brothers and sisters. She doesn't need "socialization" because there is a constant stream of kids coming and going from our house. Chris and I also get to experience a "typical" family life with our other children. It also teaches my "typical" children to be responsible for others and to respects those with special needs. It is Catholic social teaching in action. Life is always a gift, never a curse. My great Aunt had a daughter with Spina Bifida. This was years ago, when most families were choosing to put their children in homes (now many choose to abort.) My Aunt refused to put her daughter away. They told my Aunt and uncle their daughter would not even live until her fourth birthday. She lived well into her middle years and was an amazing person. She absolutely bloomed in my Aunt's care. My cousin was severely multi handicapped. My Aunt told me that they decided not to have anymore children so they could take care of my cousin. She did. Beautifully. What she underestimated was how hard it was going to be to take care of her in her older years. Her husband passed away and she did not have other children to help with her care. She was elderly and taking care of her was very, very hard but she did it. Eventually, her daughter died and she is alone now. When Willow was diagnosed she took me aside and told me to have as many children as I could. That she thought she was doing the right thing. Looking back, it would have been better for her to have siblings. That was the voice of experience talking and I listened. It truly was one of the best pieces of advice anyone has ever given me. I always tell people that Chris and I are so lucky because we will never be empty nesters. Some days are challenging but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Today's Prayer: Lord, please help families to embrace the gift of the Church's teachings on life and NFP. Help us to have the faith and understanding that you will never forsake us. Help me to remain open to life and your will. Amen.

40 day devotional-day 11

2010-05-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

Sarah,

This prayer is for you. I love you. May God bless you abundantly with more children.

Blessings,

Tosha

Prayer to Our lady of La Leche for Another Child
Lovely Lady of La Leche, most loving mother of the Child Jesus, and my Mother, listen to my humble prayer. Your motherly heart knows my every wish, my every need. To you only, His spotless Virgin Mother, has your Divine Son given to understand the sentiments which fill my soul. Yours was the sacred privilege of being the Mother of the Saviour. Intercede with Him now, my loving Mother, that, in accordance with His will, I may become the mother of other children of our heavenly Father. This I ask, O Lady of La Leche, in the Name of your Divine Son, My Lord and Redeemer. Amen.

Today's Prayer: Lord, we pray for an end to abortion. We pray for all mothers to cherish and value life. We thank you for the precious treasures we have. We also pray for those trying to conceive that they be blessed with more children. Amen.

40 day devotional day 10

2010-05-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

40 day devotional-day 9

2010-05-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

Autism and the 7 deadly sins:
Did that catch your eye? I have always claimed that Willow literally has saved me. Any person that lives with a child with Autism is on an escalator to heaven. Not because we are saints or even extrordinary people. This devotional is a little more lighthearted but I definately think there is some truth in it. I would like to explain...

The Seven deadly sins are:
Pride-Unrestrained appreciation of our own worth
Greed-Immoderate desire for earthly goods
Lust-Hankering for impure pleasures
Anger-Inordinate desire for revenge
Gluttony-Unrestrained use of food and drink
Envy-Sorrow over another's good fortune
Sloth-Laxity in keeping the Faith and the practice of virtue

The opposite virtues are:
Humility
Liberality
Chastity
Meekness
Temperance
Brotherly Love
Diligence

Let's go through the opposite virtues one by one...
Humility-every day I understand that I really have NO IDEA what I am doing. I have no idea what my daughter is thinking and I am DESPERATE! I am down on my knees begging God to give me an answer. If cleaning up fecal smears is not humbling; there is no hope for you.
Liberality-Okay, if you are not a follower of my blog, you will get the condensed version. We are broke. Literally gave up everything so that my daughter would have even the slimmest chance at a good quality of life. I really could care less what we have or if it gets broken. I am not the least bit attached to anything but my DH and kids. Most people say they aren't materialistic but you should see the way they chase my daughter around so she won't break anything.
Chastity-Let's be honest here. I really don't have time or desire to fool around. I know infidelity may be a problem but not here. Not even the least bit interested. At all. Nobody would ever love the kids and I the way that Chris does. Dated too much. Got my heart smashed. Been there. Done that. It's not worth it. Still got a good one. Thank God for him every day!
Meekness-I have got to be candid. I really do get angry when people are staring or rude to my daughter. Or any of my kids for that matter. Judgement is going to be my constant companion throughout my life with Willow. I used to snap at people but then I realised why make someone feel as bad as me? An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. I look at confrontations with people when it comes to my child with Autism as teaching opportunities. I am not trying to be prideful but I am getting pretty good at it. I run through Autism statistics so fast they don't even know what hit them. Now, I use these situations as an opportunity to "instruct the ignorant." One of the Seven Corporal works of mercy!
Temperance-Well, our economic situation really is not condusive to being gluttonous. But I do like to have a good drink (who wouldn't?) and I love to cook (not very good at it.) So, I'm working on it!
Brotherly Love-I really don't begruge anyone anything. I happen to have a couple of friends who are very wealthy. They feel guilty. I always tell them "Would you rather be stressed out and broke like me?" Then they laugh.

Diligence-I really don't know how unbelievers go through life without going crazy! My faith sustains me. I have a great community of friends that share my same values. They are my lifeline. Autism has definately made me more devout and orthodox in my faith.

That being said I know the "Seven Deadly Sins" are a bit oldschool. I really think that we should be taking a serious reevaluation about what is important. I also think you should cut yourself some slack. Raising a family is HARD WORK. Figure out your problem areas and work on them. Just do it a step at a time.

Todays prayer: Lord help me live a virtuous life. Help me to live in humility, liberality, chastity, meekness, temperance, brotherly Love, and diligence. Amen

40 day devotional-Day 8

2010-05-09T14:50:00.001-07:00

Our Lady of Sorrows

Deacon John Donelly referenced Our Lady of Sorrows today during Mass. He explained that when we have our babies Baptized rarely do we understand what motherhood really entails. This was especially the case with The Blessed Mother. Motherhood is like Golgotha he said. Amen. I was on the edge of my seat listening to...every. single. word. During the homily Landon started running a fever and fell asleep in my lap. It was only 12:30 and Chris and I were already exhausted and fighting to stay awake during Mass. My morning started with Willow peeing on the floor in her room. This Mother's Day was raw. The kids brought me breakfast and all of their gifts from school but today there was no pretending things are normal around here. I was reading this article by Faith and Family Live. It is about the seven sorrows of Mary. The more I thought about it the more blessed I felt. After Mass, Chris and I were cuddled up with our sick baby. We held hands. I got up and made brownies with Willow and spent time watching her dance and giggle in her own little world. Tiana and Alex played upstairs and the house was quiet. This is our kind of normal. I looked at my husband, exhausted from the morning and I FELT LOVE. It would not be possible without Him. Scripture says: And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2Cor 12:9. In my weakness today I received His grace. I thank the greatest Mother the world will ever see today. How can you thank someone that gave up her only Son so that I can spend eternity in Heaven? How can I thank her for all of the times that her Son has carried me? Given me hope? Today, I am giving thanks to Our Blessed Mother for all of the sacrifices and suffering she endured for me. I thank her for showing me how to say "yes" to life and to Jesus. I will contemplate the Wedding feast of Cana and her words "Do whatever He tells you." I will.

Today's Prayer:

Magnificat

My soul magnifies the Lord,And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.For He has regarded the low estate of His handmaiden,For behold, henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name. And His mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation.He has shown strength with His arm:He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.He has put down the mighty from their thrones,and exalted those of low degree.He has filled the hungry with good things;and the rich He has sent empty away.He has helped His servant Israel, in remembrance of His mercy;As He spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to His posterity forever.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen

Day 7- The Proverbs 31 Woman.

2010-05-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

The Proverbs 31 Woman :
Her Character as a Wife
10An excellent wife, who can find?For her worth is far above jewels.
rare, precious
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,And he will have no lack of gain.
trustworthy
12She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
kind

Her Devotion as a Homemaker
13She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight.
works joyfully
14She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.
goes extra mile to get choicest goods
15She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens.

disciplined
16She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
enterprising, prudent with money
17She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong.
energetic
18She senses that her gain is good;Her lamp does not go out at night.
good steward
19She stretches out her hands to the distaff,And her hands grasp the spindle.
diligent

Her Generosity as a Neighbor
20She extends her hand to the poor,And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
compassionate, generous

Her Devotion as a Homemaker
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household,For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
provident
22She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
elegant
23Her husband is known in the gates,When he sits among the elders of the land.
influential
24She makes linen garments and sells them,And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
industrious

Her Influence as a Teacher
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,And she smiles at the future.
poised
26She opens her mouth in wisdom,And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
wise

Her Effectiveness as a Mother
27She looks well to the ways of her household,And does not eat the bread of idleness.
manages her home
28Her children rise up and bless her;Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
praiseworthy

Her Excellence as a Person
29"Many daughters have done nobly,But you excel them all."
distinguished
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
God-fearing
31Give her the product of her hands,And let her works praise her in the gates.
honored
~ Proverbs 31:10-31

Initially, this is a pretty intimidating list. It is also very uplifting for me. It tells me exactly what God finds attractive. I think of it as a "leg up." I actually do know a couple of "Proverbs 31 women." They are not intimidating in the least. They are sweet, humble, and inspirational...to name just a few qualities. I am going to do a Bible study on the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman after our devotional. Get ready!

Today's Prayer: Lord help me to become the Proverbs 31 woman. Help me to focus on being beautiful to you and your standards and not the worlds ideals. Help me to see myself the same way you see me. Not the critical way I see myself. Amen.

40 day devotional-day 6

2010-05-08T20:39:00.001-07:00

"Lord,I believe;help thou my unbelief." -Mark 9:24

I really did not mean to take a sabbatical from my devotional. Please forgive me and love me. I need that so much, now. Over the last couple of days my daughter has been regressing so much it is scaring me. Last night, my sister went out with my father to dinner. She left me with her 15 month old to care for. My mother was here and we decided it would be best that she took care of my nephew. Agreed. The few hours my sister was gone and my husband attended a work function were the hardest in my parenting life. Willow was completely destructive. I would go to clean something up and she was already on to the next mess. In a few short hours she:

Pooped on the floor in the playroom

urinated on my floor in my bedroom

dumped water in the living room

dumped lemonade in her room.

The "grand finale" was her dumping my red wine spritzer and throwing it against the wall and all over the floor. Judge me...but I really wanted that drink!

I know my limits...so I put her in her room so I could go somewhere and have a good cry. I went to my office and e-mailed my husband about the "reign of terror" that was going on at our house. I heard a huge thud. I ignored it. Ten minutes later I heard my mother screaming in terror. She had tripped and had been laying in my sisters room, unable to move and get up. She had crawled to the door and opened it. Only then, could we hear her and ran upstairs. The baby was terrified and I felt horrible and started crying too. It was pretty much chaos until the kids went to bed. I was snapping, grouchy, and most of all unloving to the most vunerable members of my household. Pretty much feeling like a total failure. I had nothing left. Then...I got this e-mail from the mother of my precious Godson:

"Amen, Sister. God loves you and so do I! Big hugs to you, Tiana, Willow, Landon, Alex, and Chris from all of us here. We miss you and are inspired by you. Thank you for your blog. It is beautiful and amazing as well as humbling. I love the look on Willow’s face. The wheels are turning in there. What an amazing little girl you have. What an amazing little family you have. I think you have no idea the inspiration you provide so many of us who read your blogs. Have you considered turning your blogs into a book? I can totally see you as a published author. Think about it…"

Never underestimate the power of a good friend (Sirach 6:5-17). In my darkest hour, I saw the face of Jesus in her. Telling me that God loves me and how amazing my family is. He knew exactly what I needed to hear to help my "unbelief" and inability to see him in the moment. Thank you my sweet friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you with all that I have.

Today's prayer: Lord surround me with "true friends." Help me to be a friend and help me to conduct myself in a manner that honors you. Let us strive to become the Proverbs 31 woman and truly become "Sisters in Christ."

40 day devotional-Day 5

2010-05-05T21:09:00.000-07:00

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.
By this is my Father glorified,that you bear much fruit and become my disciples.”

I have spoken, many, many times of how God is generous. If you fail, God has no testimony in you. Put your trust in Him and you will live a life of abundance. Here is the key...it must glorify Him, not you. Happiness can convert more people than Bible Quotes and intellect ever will. Others will look to you and want to know what you have. This is even more obvious in homes with challenges. I have a friend who has ten children. I only had one at the time (who was an easy baby) and I asked her "How do you do it?" she said: "God." I learned more from observing their family than I could have ever learned from reading child development or theology books. They lived their faith in a way that I have rarely seen in my 40 years. God has blessed them abundantly and they bless others with their lives. They were faith-filled, happy, and genuine. I strive every day to live my life in this manner. She probably did not even know how powerful of an influence she had on me. I began going to daily Mass and striving for a richer prayer life. I also began using NFP and opened myself to having four more children. That one person changed my life in an incredible way. Our lives should be fruitful and glorify God. I still look to her for good counsel and spiritual direction. Someday, maybe if I'm blessed, I can help someone else the way that she has helped me to be "fruitful."

Today's prayer: Lord, let my life bear witness through you in times of prosperity and challenge. Let me glorify you in all ways so my life may be a testimony. Help me to glorify you in my marriage, friendships, and most especially my children. That they may grow in faith and walk with You. Also, help me to evangelize to others with my special needs child. Let me help others to see that I can do everything through You. Lift me up with wings like eagles and carry me when I am weak. Amen.

40 day devotional-day 3

2010-05-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

Matthew 7: 7-11
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

This is my favorite verse in the Bible. I take him at his Word, literally. I can't tell you how many times over the past eight years I have been down on my knees asking for God's help. I always sought and found help and resources for my daughter and my family. He never fails. He is always there for me to comfort me and provide for my family.

Today's prayer is simple: Ask, seek, knock...he is waiting to open the door.

40 day devotional-Day 2

2010-05-03T07:04:00.000-07:00

"At that time the disciples approached Jesus and said, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, "Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me. "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of things that cause sin! Such things must come, but woe to the one through whom they come! If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter into life maimed or crippled than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into fiery Gehenna. "See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven always look upon the face of my heavenly Father." Matthew 18:1-11 (NAB)

Christ constantly reminds us that being child-like and simple is essential for getting into heaven. He also says "whoever recieves one of these in my name recieves me." He had a love for the poor and the afflicted, whose simplicity is evident. When I tell people about my daughter Willow having Autism, the reply I get most often is "I'm sorry." I am getting very candid and my response is always "I'm not." I go on to tell them that if the only thing that we are here for is to prepare for eternity...Willow is a shoe in! I really do worry about my other children more. I worry about Willow's safety and care but not her salvation. She is simple and pure. She does not have a mean bone in her body. That is a direct contrast to the secular attitude that children with special needs are a burden. It is because the modern day attitude is that if you child isn't smart, pretty, or talented enough to make money they aren't worth anything. God says different. He says we need to be focused on him, not ourselves. The rest is vanity. We need to look to these children and what they can teach us. Do not give in to what the worlds says. They are blessed and privileged.

Today's prayer: Lord, help me to be humble and simple like a child.

My MIL and DH rock!

2010-05-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

Create a slideshow design

40 Day Devotional-Day 1

2010-05-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

"If I did not simply suffer from one moment to another, it would be impossible for me to be patient; but I look only at the present moment, forget the past; and I take good care not to forestall the future. When we yield to discouragement or despair, it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future." St. Therese

This photo was taken two weeks after my daughter was born. The Neonatologist at St. Vincent's found a murmur shortly after her delivery. They recommended that we go to a cardiologist "just to be safe." Initially, they put her on heart medication but after just a week I knew something was really wrong. I called back the Doctor's office a couple of times and they told me just to wait until my next schedule appointment. The last 24 hours before her appointment I didn't sleep. I was afraid I would wake up with a non-responsive baby. If my mom (who is a NICU nurse) would not have been there I would have gone to the ER. It was that bad. When we got to the Doctor's office the Cardiologist said: "I've got some good news, and I've got some bad news. The good news is we know what is wrong. The bad news is you have to go to the hospital RIGHT NOW." My daughter was diagnosed with a rare heart disorder called Shones Syndrome. To say I was in shock is an understatement. This is the kind of stuff that happens to other people. Why me? God had an incredible plan for my life. I had a catalyst conversion experience praying by her bedside. I knew my daughter was special and I knew that she would change other's lives as much as she changed mine. Little did I know. Two years later on her second birthday my daughter was diagnosed with Autism. My journey with my daughter had just begun. In her short 8 years of life I have witnessed miracle after miracle. One of my favorite Scriptures in the Bible is John 9:3.

"As he passed by he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him."

This verse is powerful! We have been entrusted with children that God is going to be made visible through them! Wow! Next time you feel worn out, tired or stressed remember this precious gift. The world will tell you your child is a burden. We know what a blessing this is. Be conscious of this witness. Willow has taught me to live in the present and not to take anything for granted. I do not worry for what the future may bring because we are trying to help her RIGHT NOW. I know God will provide and the 401K plan can wait (Luke 12: 16-21).

Toady's Prayer: Lord, let your works be visible through my child. Help me to witness to others about the sanctity and dignity of life.

Betrayal

2010-04-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

~ Betrayal is about learning not to idealize external sources. ~
Linda Talley

Recently, I wrote about this amazing story. Our daughter Willow has put herself in harms way countless times. When someone does not have an Autistic child, this is a hard concept to grasp. In the past two years in Tulsa three children with Autism have been killed. Several others have been lost or hurt. We were on the news the last time. The snap judgement for someone who does not have a disabled child is "Why don't you just keep track of her?" or "How could they be so stupid?" Only after someone entered our home could they know that we put deadbolts on every door upon moving in. Our windows are screwed shut to keep her from climbing out...which she would. We have the pantry and laundry room locked to because she makes terrible messes out of soap or any other gooey liquid she can get her hands on. Sometimes this includes her own feces or urine. My house is a mess not because I am a slob but I choose to put my time into relationships. I wish it were cleaner but I would rather hear Willow talk or her brothers and sisters grow up emotionally healthy. Chris and I also need time to decompress and get away either together or separately. So the laundry piles up and the dishes don't get washed as quick as they should. Only after someone got to know us would they understand the sacrifices we have made to improve her quality of life. Sometimes, to our own detriment. I cannot express the love and prayers that have been poured over her and for our family. She has absolutely no sense of self preservation and cannot comprehend that she can be harmed. It is an act of God that she has never been hurt...not even a scratch. It is a testimony to God's immense love for her and how she is here to lead others to Him. She does not have the ability to understand that behind every gate she opens there is the potential for danger. When we are searching I think of every...single...one. What if a dog attacked her? What if she gets in a pool and drowns? What if she gets hit by a car? What if someone has chemicals out? What if she was abducted and raped? This is my life. I also have three amazing other children that need to have their own emotional and physical needs met. They deserve our time too. I do my job gladly because this is my dream. All I ever wanted was to have a man that loved and cherished me. I always knew I wanted to have a "big Catholic family." I know it is hard for others to grasp but I love my life. The hardest part of my life is not the physical care of my daughter with special needs. It is living with the constant rejection and judgement I am subjected to on an almost daily basis. The most devastating kind is when it is someone close to us who chooses to be critical rather than loving. Two days ago, the ultimate betrayal happened. After Willow got out, someone called DHS on our family about Willow. They told them she had Autism and got out of the house more than once. The case worker showed up, unannounced. They questioned the older two kids, Chris and I were not allowed to be present. They asked my oldest if we kept any drugs in the house. I could hear My oldest defending her little sister through the door. It was my worst nightmare come to life. How could anyone doubt the love and dedication we have for our children? Chris got home and she proceeded to question each of us separately. Obviously, they found nothing but four happy and well cared for children (and a messy house). They found two educated parents who had many safeguards in place for their daughter. Since the two days DHS left I have been vacillating between anger and incredible sadness. I feel wounded and betrayed. Every time I leave my house I will wonder who called. They are closing the case in 30 days but my husband and I now have a permanent complaint record with DHS. Whoever the person was obviously didn't know us. That makes it a little better, sometimes. Then I think of the worst case scenario. What would have happened if the person that called got their way? What if DHS thought Willow was in "imminent danger" here? There is no residential home in Oklahoma for children with developmental disabilities. I am sure they did not know that. It would have put my daughter in state foster care. With strangers who are uneducated and have no clue about Autism or my daughter. Ultimately, this would have put her in a situation to be neglected, abused or killed. She also would not have access to her incredible school or therapists. Willow would also have no way to comprehend why her Mommy wasn't there. I have been reading scripture, praying and counting my blessings but the pain and fear slowly creeps back. I'm human. I am sure it will be this way for awhile. The best council I have received has been from others who have children on the spectrum or know of people who were also vindictively or falsely accused of something. I keep asking myself if they were worried about my daughter why didn't they stop by and offer to help? When did we start thinking that "Love your neighbor as yourself" was best done through calling state agencies and attorneys? Are we really THAT busy? It also made me think of how I have failed to reach out to others out of fear of being rejected or hurt. I also wonder what greater good can come from this. I may never know here. Until then, I can only pray for the person that did this and hope nothing like this ever happens to them. The thought of someone hurting like this is unbearable to me. I challenge anyone who reads this to look up this scripture. It is about love of your enemies. Read it, memorize it and live your life by it. God Bless you all.

Luke 6:27-36

Quote of the day...

2010-04-20T15:04:00.000-07:00

"I'm not gunna share and I don't wunna share!"

-Landon Schiffli to his Mother when she reached for his popcorn.

A Mother's Struggle

2010-04-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

I have battled this constantly. I thought I might share it with you. It is such a beautiful post. Hope you are having a blessed day.

40 bags in 40 days...

2010-04-18T06:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, my attempt at 40 bags in 40 days was a complete flop. I know this because last night I cleaned up my toy room. We STILL have too much. I am making room for my sister and her baby to come stay with us for two weeks. Did I mention my sister is an interior designer? She has been on HGTV three times and has worked for such design Gurus like Michael Smith. My house is a complete pigsty. We are overrun with toys, papers, mail, and laundry, my God, the laundry! I am going to have to work like crazy for the next two weeks. I want to "bless, not stress" her with a clean home. I am not looking for perfection here. There is an understanding that when you stay with someone with four kids you are not going to get perfection. She also knows Willow lives here. Enough said. I play with my kids. I am a get down on the ground Mama. My kids are read to, cuddled, played with, we have great conversations and in general, are the happiest kids I know. Still, my sister likes a clean home. Nothing like family visiting to get your home in order! So, back to baggin!

Before and After

2010-04-16T08:50:00.001-07:00

Before...

After....

Isn't it amazing what some new screws and a little paint can do?

Divine Providence

2010-04-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

God is such a generous, abundant God. He wants to bless us. He is a wonderful father and wants so much to provide for his children. Sometimes you just have to be willing to look. In the past few weeks I have had wood floors donated, food, toys, services and generous friends stop by to help. His love and provision is everywhere I turn. This morning was no exception. I dropped the kids off and was driving through my favorite neighborhood on my way home. I spotted this. Only my heavenly father would know that I was wanting to fix up my back yard for my kids and leave this for me. They were throwing it away. I can't wait to sand and repaint it. I am going to do something bright and cheery:-)

Attachment Parenting

2010-04-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

I am getting more lax as I get older with the kids. Something I SWORE I would not do! Anyway, with the older three we had a pretty steadfast rule of no sleeping with us. The only exception was when we had a newborn and I was breastfeeding. We had a co-sleeper and it was pretty convenient. Landon started crawling out of his crib around two. He would wander around upstairs and try and wake up his brothers and sisters. Not cool, since Chris and I function in a state of chronic sleep deprivation. We tried the twin bed in Alex's room but he would wake up in the middle of the night disoriented and terrified. Screaming. Loud. Very, very, loud. The other three would follow his lead. We would spend 30 minutes to and hour trying to console him (and his siblings) and get him back to bed. He wound up in bed with us. He's been there ever since. We have a nightly routine. He wants both of us to lay down with him and he goes RIGHT TO BED. We usually fall asleep before putting him in "his" bed upstairs. We both know that he will probably be our last baby so we are being indulgent. For now. Until then, I will have lots of cute pictures like these...

A picture thought I'm sharing

2010-04-11T17:18:00.000-07:00

Wheres' Willow?
In here...

I let Willow put on the jets in my tub. The tub was overrun with bubbles! I think these are some of the cutest pictures I have ever taken of her. The fact she smiled at the camera is magical. I am going to make a slide show when I get the time.

Kind Conversation

2010-04-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

Kind Conversation is a social network for Catholic moms. I started a group for Special Needs parents. Please join us...
http://kindconversation.ning.com/

My top ten for copeing

2010-04-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am reading TONS of posts about how stressful raising families with special needs kids is. What do you do to decompress? I can tell you what I do and when I DON'T do it my world falls apart. Here is my top 10:
1. Pray.
2. Exercise and spend time alone AWAY from family.
3. Make a date night with my spouse
4. Call a good girlfriend and have a good sob. Don't laugh...it works!
5. Get a hobby or something I am working on that gives me pleasure.
6. Make sure that the other kids get time alone too.
7. Keep the house and order and keep my routine. Special needs kids thrive on it!
8. Do not allow my kids to miss therapy. At all.
9. Have my Mom come over or call her daily. Enough said.
10. Read, read, read. Knowledge is power.

Guardian Angels

2010-04-03T07:22:00.000-07:00

This week has been a tough one. Willow got out from the house again and this time she was gone for over 30 minutes. We had to call the police. I really can't describe how terrifying this is. It is just something you have to experience for yourself. All you do is drive around and pray that when you find her she is not hurt, molested...or dead. As terrifying as these experiences are, they are Grace filled. You can see Gods face in every person you encounter. Her rescues are a miracle every time. Thankfully, it was a beautiful day when she got out. There were tons of people out playing in their yards and in the street. When they heard my panicked cries for Willow it soon drew a crowd and we started sweeping the neighborhood. I had 15-20 people out looking for her on foot, bicycles, and cars! I was flagged down by my neighbor Amy and she told me they had found her and she was safe. I let myself break down. She was in one of my neighbors backyards bouncing on the trampoline completely oblivious to the scene around her. In her own happy little world. The police showed up and I went out to greet him. I walked through the gate with Willow on my hip and all 15-20 people were gathered there, cheering and clapping! It was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. My community completely came together to help us find our daughter. I also knew God had his hand in protecting her when officer Baul showed up with a Saint Michael tattoo on his arm. My patron Saint for Willow. They are building a data base at the Tulsa Police. They took all of Willow's vital information, a picture, and where she usually goes. We have a case number and if we call they will automatically respond to seal the area. The Tulsa Autism Center is also working with the police to help get tracking software for these kids. We are also buying this in order to help track her. We are also looking into the possibility of getting a search and rescue dog for her. Anyway, keep her in your prayers that God keeps her safe.

Special Moms

2010-03-25T19:40:00.001-07:00

Ode to Special Moms
(by Erma Bombeck)
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger."Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecilia."Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations."I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Unconstuctive criticism

2010-03-23T07:02:00.000-07:00

Ever since my husband and I have announced we are homeschooling, we have been hit with a barrage of "well-intentioned" criticism. My family and I are going the narrow path. In this modern era of family and financial planning it is really not a popular lifestyle. I have a few friends that are walking this path with me. I do not understand this fear of not "socializing" our children. I really don't care because we are supposed to be using Jesus as our yardstick. Not our friends and family...enter moral relativism. Chris and I have decided to Homeschool our children because we want our children to have the best opportunity to get to Heaven possible. I really don't believe that we are going to find what we need in public schools and parish RE classes. As a whole, those programs turn out some pretty undistinguished students. Out of the thousands of people I have met that have graduated from public schools...maybe five have attained what I want for my kids. That is pretty horrible odds. Now that they have lifted the classroom size mandate, I'll bet it's nil. They are notoriously underfunded and base curriculum on test scores, not quality. Parish RE is one hour a week. You would do better to educate your children in their faith by surrounding yourself with Orthodox families and leading your children by example. That means you, on your knees, reading the Bible and properly Catechising yourself in the faith. A parish RE class can't make up for that. It is about quality, not quantity. Just because another family is Catholic doesn't mean they are going to be the best examples. Timothy McVeigh was raised Catholic. Chris and I look to our Grandparents for their great examples of family life. They were raised in rural "isolated" environments and did not "socialize" with the exception of school. They are functioning in society just fine, thank you. They went to Catholic schools or lived in areas that were mostly Catholic if they did go to public. They did not participate in competitive group sports. I am not opposed to organized sports but if you look at today's "role models" they are really pathetic . It isn't about teaching sportsmanship and teamwork anymore. In our Grandparent's time sport figures did not make that much money. Go stand at the sidelines now and watch how some of the parents act. It will turn your stomoch. Our Grandparent's spent most of their time with family and their family life revolved around church and it's community. They were also pure and waited for marriage. The average age for US kids to lose their virginity is between 16-17. Yikes. I am sure it has something to do with the fact that there is a 50% divorce rate in the US. In the 1950's it was between 5-10%. Before that, almost nothing. Throw in the fact that most of these kids are also being raised by day cares, not their parents! 47% of children receive some type of non-parental childcare and spend their free time in organized activities. How much parenting can really be done? In our Grandparents age that was very, very rare. They came from large families and had large families which taught their children RESPONSIBILITY. They helped with the housework, chores, and took care of younger siblings and even had elderly Grandparents living with them. This type of lifestyle can only be taught at home now. It is not available even in rural areas because we are living in the Bible belt. Catholics are only 12% of the population and many protestant churches can be openly hostile. Most of the textbooks I am using come from "The Golden Age" of Catholic Schools. I know it is Pre-Vatican II but it turned out some pretty amazing scholars and vocations were booming. Anyway, in response to a recent accusation that "you can't isolate your kids." You can, and should if you know what is good for them. You need to be very picky about who you let your kids associate with. We need role models! What most people consider parenting these days is sub-par, at best. What we have now is children as a new leisure class. We are having smaller families, teaching less responsibility and children are spending less time at home with the families that should be influencing them. So, I am opting not to "socialize" my children. I will leave you with a quote from Pope John Paul II: "The future of humanity passes by way of the family." My hope is to positively influence the world by educating my children at home.

Out of the mouths of babes

2010-03-05T08:41:00.000-08:00

My daughter Krystiana and I have an evening routine. Every night, we talk, read about the Saints, and pray the Rosary. Our evening talks are amazing and I feel very blessed to be raising this little Saint. We got into the topic of confession and how some churches are not Sacramentally based. I explained that they do not have confession. She replied back "I don't know why. It feels so good to go to confession. It's like being stuck in a locker with a bunch of stinky socks and someone lets you out!" I couldn't have said it better myself.

Let the children come unto me...

2010-03-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

It never ceases to amaze me how God blesses me through the faith of my children. I have been struggling with what to do with Willow for her First Communion for a very long time. It has challenged me and I have prayed for several years about what God wants me to do. I take the spiritual and moral formation of my children very seriously (Matt 18:6). Willow does not have the mental capability to commit sin. She does not have a malicious bone in her body. She is serene, kind, and beautiful. Pure. Still fresh from God. So how do you educate her in a sacramentally based church? Well, the answer is to have an amazing faith community that knows your family and understands their needs. Last week, Father Joe called me to assure me that they would work with Willow. He said they would do everything that they could to help my daughter experience the sacraments at her level. He "met us where we are at" like Christ meets us daily. Today, I received a second phone call from Carol Bryan the director of Religious Education for the Church of Saint Benedict. She spoke with Fr. Joe and they decided that it would be better for Willow to have her own celebration. She would be surrounded by friends and family in a familiar, quiet environment. I couldn't ask for more. I can't wait to see my daughter smiling in her First Communion "Princess" gown. Our family will be able to experience this special tradition together. I will be surrounded by our closest friends and family who don't mind if I cry through the whole thing. Pack your tissues!!!

Inspired

2010-03-02T08:08:00.000-08:00

Well, I am on a mission. I am wanting to get from this...

To this....

Or this...

Krystiana and I are excited about our new adventure. I just received my Real Learning book from By Way of the Family. It is amazing and I already have 7 books lined up to read before summer. Elizabeth Foss' writing is inspired. I am looking forward to the future and a lifetime of learning with my children.

Managing "Stuff"

2010-02-24T15:31:00.000-08:00

Three years ago we moved into our home in a rush. We were trying to get our kids settled in before school started. We dumped everything into the garage and only moved the basics in the house. Three years later...it is still in the garage. My guess is we really don't need any of it! Before advent, I started pruning unnecessary "stuff" from our house. It felt ~~good~~ amazing. I got rid of half of my toy room and kids clothes. It just wasn't enough. I came upon this article and now I mean business. This lent there is a small community of women committed to getting rid of 40 bags in 40 days. Do you think we need a little pruning? You be the judge...

After...now I need to organize.

How many bags does this make?!?

This is my next project. It will be Tiana's Homeschool room.

A Birth Story

2010-02-09T07:35:00.000-08:00

This is a birth story almost as beautiful as mine. Please read this. It will change your life.

Multitude Monday- 51. My Grandma and her devout faith

2010-01-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

I went to my Grandmothers last night. It is always an amazing experience to be in her presence. She is the Godliest woman I have ever met. She is COMPLETELY devoted to the Lord. Her life revolves around serving Him. I have fond memories of summer visits to church and listening to my Grandma sing off-key. Afterwards she would say: "Joyful noise is music to the Lord." That pretty much sums up my Grandma. Sing as if no one is listening. God will hear. Willow hasn't been feeling well so Chris and I divided Masses. I let time get away from me and the only option became 8:00 mass at TU. After Mass, I was close to her house. Guilt set in. I haven't been so good about stopping by. So I popped in for a few minutes. We played around on the computer for a little bit...Facebook, Smilebox, and Miss Momma to name a few places. It is amazing to me how easy it is to stay connected to people now, if you are even the least bit motivated. When we were almost done my Godly Grandma showed me a favorite e-mail she had just received from my Aunt Judy. I HAD to share this.

Five Finger Prayer

1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a 'sweet duty.'

2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger - the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, 'The least shall be the greatest among you.' Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

At the end was the best part it said: "Don't tell God how big your storm is, Tell the storm how big your God is!!!!!"

Thanks, Grandma!

Small Successes

2010-01-05T19:15:00.000-08:00

It has been so long since I have done this. This Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany in my "Domestic Church" has been full of small successes.

1. I am beautifying my home. I know that we are renting but it gives me peace. I am a very creative person. I have spent many, many days painting, hanging pictures, and organizing rooms. Very happy so far.

2. Willow's therapy has been AMAZING.

3. We kept Christmas simple and focused on Christ.

4. I am "purging" my home of clutter. It's a process.

5. I finally got my toddler out of my "Marriage Bed." I have a very, very happy husband.

6. We are eating together as a family more. With Willow, this is no small feat.

7. I am attempting to start a Cottage Buisiness from my home. It is something I have been praying about for years. More on that later...

8. My daughter Tiana and I have started an evening routine of praying the Rosary. This is bearing much fruit. I am starting to get "Rosary Addiction."

Multitude Monday

2010-01-04T08:02:00.000-08:00

42. The proverbs 31 woman and her virtues I have been trying to pursue my whole married life.
43. The women in my life that led me by example.
44. My Grandma
45. Fond memories from childhood.
46. My brothers and sister.
47. My Dad is a Veterinarian. It is a cool way to grow up. It taught me how important it is to love your job. He is the only person I know that doesn't want to retire and doesn't care when the stock market is in the toilet!
48. Blogging
49. My Dad's sense of humor. It made me marry someone who makes me laugh.
50. My mother's love of books and learning.

Un-friended

2010-01-03T18:26:00.000-08:00

My Best Friend of 20+ years is leery of on-line social networking. She actually thinks it is impersonal and weird (Hmmmm). She says too much time is spent "Twittering, Facebooking, and blogging." Therefore, we don't have time for what is really important... relationships. What we need to be doing is spending quality time with our family, friends, and in prayer with the Lord. I agree that technology really does infringe upon family time. TV, the internet, and video games eat up much of the time that parents used to play ball in the back yard, read, or allow their children to "just" play. My entire childhood I was outside exploring. So I did see her point. She is a smart cookie. Good advice from a very good friend. But I scoffed a little bit. I really enjoy blogging and I feel that it has enriched my life. There is a tremendous amount of junk on the internet but there is also so much good. I learn so much from the other Mom's blogs and "Google University" has saved me more than once. Last year, I joined Facebook. It has been neat to find old friends but I don't like to pursue friendships on-line. One of my favorite blogs is by an incredible woman named Elizabeth Foss. She is married to her High School sweetheart and mother of nine amazing kids. She Homeschools and is an excellent educator and prolific writer. She is also a cancer survivor and one of the most devout Catholic women I have ever heard of. One of her recent blogs was about the fact she had just been "un-friended" on Facebook. Who in the world would NOT want a woman like that on their friend list? I would love to have her on mine! Well, it just happened. Today I came home from a wonderful church service and a good day with my family. We spent the afternoon with my In-Laws. I checked my e-mail and hopped on Facebook and there it was...I was un-friended. By a close friend, I thought. I keep friends for a very long time. They have been my life-line through many of the toughest times of my life. When one ends it is hard on me. I think Elizabeth Foss' article articulates this phenomenon of "un-friending" better than I could. I am actually thinking of closing my account. I rarely check it and anybody who really wants to talk to me calls me. Lesson learned.

A Happy New Year

2010-01-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

Last night, we had the pleasure of having our good friends the Sartorius' over. Jennifer is one of my closest friends. Between the two of us we have 9 kids!!! We met through church and grew closer after I attended Cursillo, a retreat weekend. She started hosting prayer circles in her home. She is the most kind, nonjudgmental woman I know. A Godly woman and true friend. God had a greater plan in our friendship...our two daughters are kindred spirits. Out of all of Tiana's friends Catherine has something special in common with her. It is something that has been passed down from her amazing mother. It is her love for the Lord and her devout faith. Tiana, like her mother, has problems getting to sleep at night. We remedied this by praying the Rosary. I climbed the stairs last night to check on the kids and start the Rosary with her so she could get to sleep. I peeked into the room. I saw the girls cuddled up in their bed. I heard a familiar prayer... "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death, Amen." I went into the room and finished with them and tucked them into bed. Thanking God for my devout friend and her children.

I am praying a special prayer for you today to Mary the Mother of God. Have a blessed day.

Multitude Monday

2009-12-28T16:12:00.000-08:00

24. A "White Christmas"

25. My father visiting over the holidays

26. Staying home for Christmas for the first time in 14 years...it was heaven!

27. Willow getting better at her Grandparents house

28. Her Grandparents understanding the need for us to relax and being accomidating.

29. Family traditions

30. My daughter and I praying the Rosary to help her sleep.

31. My son Alex getting jealous and insisting I pray it with him too.

32. A rich prayer life

33. My mother showing me the meaning of unconditional love.

34. The ability to show it to my own kids.

35. Our family service projects at The Day Center for the homeless and Catholic Charities.

36. My toddler still wanting to sleep with me and being jealous of my husband. I fall asleep with him nuzzled up to me. I am relishing this. Sadly, this could be my last baby!

37. Daddy being jealous of my toddler...hey, at least he still wants to spend time with me!

38. Him caving every night because secretly, I know he enjoys him too. Especially when he won't go to bed without Chris being in bed with us too!

39. My kids playing together.

40. My daughter bragging about how every time she has to be away from us "I miss my brothers and sisters so bad. I'm so lucky I'm not an only child."

41. Yes, she is.

White Christmas

2009-12-25T15:48:00.000-08:00

I tried to get a Christmas photo for you...

It just didn't work out the way I thought...

No, she is not trying to choke him!

Then we tried some Christmas crafts...

It didn't work out so good either...

Don't get the wrong idea. Christmas wasn't all bad. Something miraculous happened. We made it to Mass. ~~We survived. Barely.~~ It was amazing. When we got out we had a white Christmas! One thing that my family really knows how to do...

Is have FUN!!!!

Landons first snow...

He was having so much fun...

this was how we got him in!

A snow Angel.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

Multitude Monday

2009-12-22T09:28:00.000-08:00

1. My Family. The miracle of all of our children.
2. The incredible blessing of being married to my soul mate.
3. My best friend of 20+ years Donetta
4. My friend Angela Gardner
5. My friend Jennifer Sartorius
6. My friend Ginger Mitchell
7. My friend Stefani Nolan. My family away from family.
8. My friend Rachel.
9. The fact that our family members are some of our closest friends.
10. My mother. Also my best friend.
11. My friend Christa
12. All of my daughters therapists: Cheryl, Lauren, Rachel, and Amy. I love you.
13. The blessing of being married to a man of faith and his unfailing support of my vocation as a mother. Also, his willingness to follow church teaching.
14. Did I mention my kids....?
15. The Helow, Person, and Foss families for showing the many blessings living a life of "openness" gives you."
16. My faith. Which should be number 1. I wouldn't have all of the other blessings without the Father.
17. My landlords Richard and Theresa Cooper...for giving us an opportunity to go to JSE and their support. We love our life here.
18. My neighbors. My babysitter Lizzie keeps me sane. She doesn't charge me. The most Godly teenager I know.
19. Autism. The lessons it's taught me and for the amazing people it has brought into our life.
20. The Millers. For giving us the support we needed while in FL. Like family.
21. For my father and the lessons he has taught me.
22. For my brother and his friendship.
23. For my Sister-In-Law Stephanie...who has endured my gripe sessions for years.

Crushed

2009-12-11T12:31:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling a little "crushed" this week...and then I found this quote.

"When we are crushed like grapes, we cannot think of the wine we will become."
Henri Nouwen

Autism Rates By State

2009-12-04T10:45:00.000-08:00

This is an interesting article I happened upon. I have always heard Autism affects 1 in every 150 children. That is actually an average. It really depends on what state you are in. Minnesota tops the list with 1 out of every 67 children. Oklahoma has one of the lowest autism rates. Our rate is 1 out of every 309 children have autism. Willow was born in Florida and their rate is 1 out of every 155 children. Hmmm. Alex too. Oklahoma is ranked 48th out of all 50 states. Go to http://www.fightingautism.org/idea/autism-state-rankings-prevalence.php
for more information.

Greenspan's Developmental Checklist

2009-11-29T21:09:00.000-08:00

I am hoping that eventually most Doctors will change the way they screen for developmental problems. Willow passed the "general" Pediatrician's checklist with flying colors. I wish we would have known about Greenspan's developmental checklist. I just found this on the internet while looking up information on "Floortime." It is good information to pass along.

Cooper's Baptism

2009-11-24T19:37:00.001-08:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Viva Las Vegas

2009-11-24T19:15:00.001-08:00

Make a Smilebox photobook

Fall Fun

2009-11-02T12:26:00.001-08:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Special needs, special blessings

2009-10-29T11:12:00.000-07:00

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I take Willow to therapy. It pretty much consumes my whole day. I take my happy-go-lucky toddler, Landon, and his big sis and we just GO. We are so blessed to have the therapists that we do. Some have been with Willow since she was two. Anyway, the past few days I have been in prayer about what to do with her therapy/school schedule. Chris and I are also considering home schooling her at least part time. It would give her one-on-one instruction and more time for private therapy. I happened upon this article at Faith and Family Live. It just reminded me of how blessed we are. The article that struck me the most was Mary Ellen Barrett. She says most people view special needs kids as damaged. Mary Ellen has also had to endure the anti-life attitudes of doctors. When Ryan was diagnosed, she was pregnant with her third child. “The neurologist said to me, ‘You know this runs in families, but I guess it’s too late to do anything about that’ — he was pointing to my big belly,” said Mary Ellen. “With each subsequent pregnancy, I have been warned that the child will likely be ‘damaged.’ That’s the word they use. I think people who consider these children damaged are themselves broken.” I have endured that attitude too. We had two more children after Willow was born. Willow is doing amazing and inspires our family every day. I had a conversion experience at her bedside when she was two weeks old in the NICU of Baptist Hospital. I have come to rely on the Lord so much. I am constantly in prayer for her. The Barretts also realize what a blessing Ryan has been: “My faith has greatly deepened due to Ryan’s disability,” said Mary Ellen. I gave him to Our Lady’s care and began praying Rosaries regularly. Ryan’s abnormalities were accepted and treated as part of his uniqueness. We have grown in faith together, and the biggest blessing has been the conversion of my husband, David, to the Catholic faith. I don’t know that any of this would have happened if Ryan had been born without his disabilities.” People just don't know what they are missing. You can visit Mary Ellen's blog at: http://maryellenb.typepad.com/

Abundance

2009-10-27T22:23:00.000-07:00

Once again, God came through. This week we had NO money. I have been scraping for kids lunches! I have been feeeling anxious even though I know he always provides. I prayed my Rosary this morning and gave it to God. I asked for an "explosive blessing." Chris was supposed to get his check mailed. It would have put us even further behind. It was also supposed to be less than average. Well, he spoke with the young woman who is doing his exit interveiw. She is overnighting it! We will get it today and it is going to be MORE than what we thought. God is so Good. JEHOVAH-JIREH, MY PROVIDER. “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)

5 worse things than being in debt.

2009-10-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

This woman has eloquently put into words what I have experienced over the last 13 years. This blog was powerful for me. It is called the 5 worse things than being in debt. Please read the entire article!!!!!

They are:
1. Worse than being in debt is losing your peace.
2. Worse than being in debt is not realizing how much good comes out of a real struggle.
3. Worse than being in debt is not having a baby because you think you don't have enough money.
4. Worse than being in debt is getting a job (the woman) to make ends meet.
5. Worse than being in debt is having your husband think he's not a good provider.

Small Successes

2009-10-15T20:32:00.000-07:00

It seems like it has been forever since I have done this! Here it goes:
1. I took six children to Target today. No one got lost or hurt. We actually had a blast and they helped me pick out my first Christmas present of the year. Tiana also came away with some much needed new bedding. She is thrilled!
2. I cleaned my living room top to bottom today. I even cleaned the blinds and glass. Try not to be too jealous. I ALSO did three loads of laundry, steam cleaned Willow's room, and finished the kitchen. While watching between 4-6 kids.
3. I started simplifying my life. I know it doesn't sound like it...but trust me. This is as simple as it's going to get.
4. I counceled a friend.
5. We moved Landon out of our room and into his big brothers room. They have become best friends.
6. I realized I don't really care if I ever get back down into a size 6 ever again. I think I am going to learn how to cook. Like Paula Deen. Lots of butter. Yum.
7. I also realized that all this stuff that we "had to have" will probably end up at a garage sale (for pennies on the dollar) or donated to charity. It is making me seriously consider new purchases.
8. I am waking up at the crack-o-dawn in the am. Alex's BFF (Cody M) is staying the night. It is his birthday tomorrow. I want him to remember it for the rest of his life. Doughnuts for everyone. Silly party hats at breakfast too!!!! I love that family. Love em.

Winter Cleaning.

2009-10-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

Chris recently took a new job and the impact is life changing. For the first time in our 14 year relationship we will have the ability to live beneath our means and have a LITTLE left. So we are turning over a new leaf and getting rid of all that is unnecessary. Clutter is distracting. I am starting with our home. Since I won't be doing 20 million things at once I am tackling the house one room at a time. I mean clean top to bottom go through toys, organize closets, throw away trash and give away or sell the rest.
Here is my "winter cleaning" list:
~~Willow's room~~
~~Willow's closet~~
~~Alex's room~~
~~Alex's closet~~
~~Tiana's bedroom~~
Toy room
Office
Alex's Pullman bath
Willow's Pullman bath
Upstairs hall bathroom
Tiana's bathroom
~~Master bedroom (I should have taken pictures of what was under the bed. Scary.)~~
Tosha's closet
Chris's closet
Master bath
Dining room
~~Family room~~
Kitchen
Pantry
Eating area and built ins
Laundry room
Garage
Chris's tool chest!
Cars

This is just to keep me on track for projects. We are wanting to finish painting the house and redo some furniture. I told Chris that before I get started I want it all marked off the list! Join me. I am wanting to go into the Holidays joyful and prepared to relax and celebrate. Happy cleaning.

End of 40 Days

2009-09-23T09:03:00.000-07:00

Over 40 days ago my friend Jennifer Sartorius encouraged me to do a "40 day novena" for Willow and our family. I responded that I needed something tangible. I did not want to pray to a Saint (although I do regularly). I ~~wanted~~ needed "God's hands and feet." I needed help! We were struggling to meet our most basic needs and feeling very neglected and broken. Willow was spreading feces over her room on a daily basis and was in a plateau with her speech. We literally had sacrificed everything and I was just dispondent with where she was at. I literally had no help and was overwhelmed with the BASIC CARE of our children. I sat on her request for two weeks. I had resigned myself to the fact that this was just the way it was. This was my life. Then, while looking through my bookshelf, I found it. I picked up the book and knew that it was the one. I found Finding God in Autism: a forty day devotional for parents. I called my friend and we both decided that it was the one we were supposed to do. We read scripture everyday, carved out prayer time (along with some family members), and I prayed over my daughter for complete healing. Two days into it my friend came to me with another request. Chris should do it with me and if he did "God would work miracles...all he has to do is ask." Well, God did work miracles. Chris was completely devoted. He never missed a day. He developed a life long habit and I can feel it's difference in our marriage. He has taken his rightful place as the "head of the household" and spiritual leader. God put people (thank you Eddye and my amazing friends) and ministries in my life to help us get through. Willow is doing amazing. Her progress is phenominal and the people at Tulsa Sunshine Center have been so good to our family. Chris is interveiwing for a new job and we are both so grateful for the great opportunities (thank you, Patti and Janna) and are looking forward to the future. I haven't felt this much peace in so long. We are experiencing our family's version of normal. For the first time, in a long time, we have stability and hope. It is a process and it is going to just take time and patience but I know we can make it through. In the last month, God has shown us miracle after miracle. We literally were short over $2000 dollars at one point and recieved in the mail checks from random sources to cover it. I found a flexable job. Willow quit doing "potty play time" the FIRST DAY of our devotioal and has never done it since. God is shaping us and we are learing how we can evangelize through our family and our perserverence. We are helping others. We are blessed beyond belief. Thank you, God.

30 days!!!

2009-09-05T15:51:00.000-07:00

Looking back, I wish I could have journaled every day. It has been an amzing journey. Willow is doing fantastic. God's plans are always so much greater than anything we can ever imagine. She has not had "potty play time" in a month, she is talking more, her eye-contact has improved, and her therapists all say she is doing the best she ever has. Lauren, her SLP told me at her last session that some day we will be able to have conversational speech with her! My little Willow talking to me!?! It is too bad that our society often encourages people to run from situations that are uncomfortable. It is usually during those times that we have the most spiritual growth. Over the last 13 years we have experienced miracle after miracle. Everytime someone told us "you can't" God has said "yes, you can!" Here are our "greatest hits!"
1. They told us we couldn't have children...um?
2. Willow's sucessful heart surgery
3. Alex's miracle birth. I lost 60% of my blood in 13 minutes. It is a complete blessing I am even writing this.
4. Willow's Autism diagnosis and the blessing that came with it!
5. Chris loses his job and God gives us a job in our home state.
6. We go through hell and back for Willow and we find the best therapists, friends, and an amazing school
7. My Landon gives me the most perfect pregnancy and delivery. (Via Jay Williamson, DO and his trusty sidekick, Cora!)

God has blessed us with the most amazing friends, family, and professionals to help us through our life. Thank you all for everything. Most of all, thank you for your prayers!

Take time to pray!

2009-09-01T19:51:00.000-07:00

I didn't take the time to pray today and it was a mess!!!! Not doing it again for the rest of my devotional. Enough said.

Count your blessings...

2009-08-30T19:40:00.000-07:00

We had an amazing Sunday. Chris' youngest brother Patrick (AKA Patti) blessed us with his company at Mass. The kids were amazing and I actually had TWO people to help me at Mass. I dare say he was almost more helpful than Chris! Father's homily was about counting your blessings and having an "attitude of gratitude" today I really did. Pat is Chris' best friend, another blessing in itself, but we rarely get to worship together anymore. That didn't used to be the case. I miss our family being together every Sunday. We used to take up an entire pew! Afterwards we would go to Mom and Dad Schiffli's for lunch. We spent the rest of the day just hanging out and visiting. That is the part I miss the most. We have all grown up and have either moved on or have different schedules that prevent us from being together. With five kids, it is difficult to get everyone together all at the same time. Today was the closest we've come to those early days together. We met Chris' other brother Andy and his family at Mom and Dad Schiffli's and ate (way,way too much) and just hung out most of the day. The kids had such a blast. I am so thankful that Pat took the time from his day to give us that. It was such a gift.

Big Blessings-My Top 10

2009-08-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

We are on day 23 of our 40 day devotional. It has been the most amazing thing spiritually I have ever done. Here is my top 10:
1. My husband and I are spending time TOGETHER in prayer and devotion every day.
2. My husband is reading his Bible for at LEAST 30 minutes every day. Unprompted. Amazing!
3. Willow has not had one "Potty play time" since we started. She was urinating and smearing her fecal matter all over her room daily.
4. She is completely off all medication.
5. She is writing constantly and her personality is starting to emerge again. She is her sweet happy self.
6. Alex is doing AMAZING at school! He does not have anymore support in class. No more outbursts at school.
7. I found a part-time very flexible job.
8. God blessed us with a $1400 check from a completely random source. He also prompted a family member during their prayer time to offer to buy school supplies and clothes.
9. Krystiana's faith is flourishing in the environment in our home. She is a Saint. Mark my words.
10. My friends the Sartorius' were able to buy the land they needed to start their Catholic community. It is something they have been praying about for a very long time. Now I am praying if we are supposed to be a part of that community...

40 days update

2009-08-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

There have been so many prayers answered I can't even begin to put them in one blog. I am thinking of making a journal and posting it. Willow is doing so much better. My relationship with my husband is amazing right now. He is definitely taking his role of spiritual leader in this family seriously. My prayer life hasn't been this strong since before I left Florida. I am only on day 14. I can't imagine how many more miracles God is going to work before the end of my 40 days! My devotionals every day consist of: Morning offering, Rosary, The Litany of the Saints, and AT LEAST 30 minutes of reading the Bible. I am also trying to stop by for Adoration as frequenly as I can even if it is just a few minutes. We read Finding God in Autism in the evening and finish with reading scripture (usually again). We go up to Willow's room after she is sleeping and lay hands on her and pray. I am trying to follow the requests of Our Lady Queen of Peace and I am fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays too. She states that the weapons against the Enemy are: Prayer, Fasting, Confession, Daily reading of the Bible, and Holy Mass. I am also reading Come Be My Light by Bl. Mother Theresa of Calcutta. Through my readings and my prayer life I have discerned that I should start focusing on the neglected: the elderly, the disabled, and the sick. I feel that the most important thing that you can spend on people is time. There are many ministries that focus on the poor but a phone call and stopping by is what most people need most. It's what I need. I am starting in my own backyard.

Another Autism Tragedy

2009-08-14T14:53:00.000-07:00

I was checking Elizabeth Foss' page today and saw this. A fourteen year old Autistic boy drowned. My heart is breaking because this could be me. This is the most isolating part of caring for an Autistic child. You can't go anywhere because you are afraid for your child's safety. You spend most of your time running around keeping them safe. No real time for visiting. I have just gotten to the point I am more happy at home. This is a link to her blog. They seem like an amazing family.

Tall Grass Prarie

2009-08-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

We went the day before School to Tall Grass Prarie. I took 6 kids and my trusty babysitter Lizzie. It was an amazing day the kids will (hopefully)remember forever. We saw buffalo, deer, and the most beautiful landscape I have ever seen. It was just as God had made it. It is part of my "miracle week" since we started our 40 day devotional. Just another amazing day. I can't wait to see what happens next...

For Matthew Karol

2009-08-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

I opened my homepage today and saw this. Please pray for this family. I do not know them but the loss of a child is devastating. I only hope that if anything like this ever happens to me...I can follow this mother's example. Christ personified.

40 days

2009-08-10T06:54:00.000-07:00

Our 40 day devotional is going amazing. We are definitely seeing improvement. I really owe it to my friend Jennifer. Amazing things happen when you pray for others. I have been struggling for some time with Willow's care. She was regressing and I have become so bitter from the lack of support from my family. Jennifer told me that during her Holy Hour the Lord put it in her heart for me to do a 40 day devotional for COMPLETE HEALING for my daughter. Two days later she came to me and said that Chris was supposed to do it too and if Chris did it miracles would happen. I relayed the message and things have CHANGED around here. He has never wavered from his devotional time. He is reading 40 days for Autism and reading the Bible every night. After we are done we go upstairs and lay hands on her and pray. Last night, I fell asleep before we finished. He said he went upstairs and prayed over her. He said while he was praying the Lord told him that the reason that Willow hasn't been improving is the television. That all of the time the kids have been watching it is robbing us of having a relationship with them. So no TV anymore! I am really excited about how God is working in our life. Continue your prayers. The changes I am seeing are nothing short of miraculous. God is so good.

Finding God in Autism

2009-08-05T19:14:00.000-07:00

The picture of Willow and I above is on her second birthday. It was the day I found out my daughter had Autism. The five years since this picture was taken have been such a journey. It is indescribable to those who are not walking this journey with me. This has been a rough week to say the least. I consider myself a patient person but ignorance, especially when directed towards my child, is intolerable. I am averting my gaze to God and trying to figure out His will for my family. In order to do that I have started reading this book. When there is never enough time or money to get anything done it would discourage Mother Theresa. Anyone who knows me knows I am NO SAINT. So I am really down. I came upon this quote: "I believe having a son or a daughter with special needs is a test of fire. Who are we going to turn to? What kind of sacrifices are we willing to make? How much is too high of a price for us to pay in helping our offspring? We need to be strong enough to remind our hearts that God is allowing what has happened to our children for a reason. And that reason has a huge eternal purpose." In case you had any doubts the answers are: God,I have no shame when it comes to my kids, and I will pay any price.

Life's great blessings.

2009-07-31T22:44:00.001-07:00

I have the most amazing friends. It is a great blessing. My friend Jennifer tops the list. I am putting together my next post in order to share the Catholic religious education curriculum she just bought for my Willow. It is AMAZING. Up until two days ago I had no hope of helping my daughter understand the sacraments that mean so much to me. I had hoped to share my faith with ALL of my children. I just didn't know if Willow ever would understand. My friend Jennifer has changed all that. I can't wait to share.
Love,
Tosha